Delirium
by shaydoe
Summary: A journey beyond the barrier's of reality and the human heart. Mamoru a lonely, broken young man is thrust into the worlds of heaven and hell and their eternal war. Will he have the courage and inner strength to save earth from the coming apocalypse or will he be dragged into the darkness that haunts him.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I know I have several stories going now. But I am just feeling creatively scattered right now. I have started several more on my trusty Lap top as well. But this one has been nagging at me to get out. This will be a short fic...well as short as I can make it. I just need to keep pushing forward with something. I have not updated any of my other fic's in months, I figure you guys might be happy just having something to read of mine. Hopefully it will refocus my muse back on my other stories. It will be darker then usual, but still have the fluff and romance my other fic's have. Don't despair though, I have started new chapter's of Symphony and SimpleS as well. They are just not flowing out of me as quickly as this story is.

Let me know what you think. Happy reading all!

**Delirium**

Chapter one: Dream Girl

A young man just cresting into manhood sat slouched in a antique victorian style arm chair, upholstered in thick white polyester. His thick wind tossed black hair falling over his dark, soulful blue eyes. The nape of his hair hanging low over his dark shirt collar, looking like it had not been combed in days. The thick strands looking tousled as he kept running his hands through it anxiously. He would have been a rather handsome man, if not for the smattering of scruffy facial hair that hid the strong curves of his jawline. His bare elbows hung limply over the thin elegant wooden arms, staring blankly down at the thick forest green throw rug beneath his dirty stocking feet. His clothes looking wrinkled and merely thrown on with out care. He looked barely put together, absolutely no effort placed on his appearance at all. Dressed far to casually in a black t-shirt and jeans, to fit in with the high class decor of the room . Looking severely out of place within the confines of the very sophisticatedly decorated office. Of fake dark wood panelling and walls filled with bookcases and framed diploma's. With one simple framed window against the front wall, trimmed with white velvet drapes. The blinding afternoon sun piercing into the room in a solitary beam that bathed the white sterile room in a brilliant lemon yellow light. Giving the utterly pristine atmosphere a sickly undertone, that affected the over all elegance of the room. Turning it somewhat sour.

A matching chair sat on the other side of a low coffee table before him, vacantly waiting for it's usual occupant. An old european oak desk sat before the window, with stacks of papers and beige file folders lined up against the front blocking the scattered notes laying behind.

The room was quiet, peaceful...a private sanctuary he retreated to when the pressures of the real world began to close in around him. This was were he had found his salvation years before, the cost a meager amount of honesty over how screwed up in the head he was. Now that salvation was starting to fail him, now he needed more.

A soft click announced the entrance of someone, he paid no attention. Staring lost at his feet, as if in a trance of his own creation.

"Mr. Chiba, so good to see you again." A gentle clinical voice called to him.

He never even twitched from his intense focus on the floor as a professionally dressed older woman took a seat in the companion chair. Dressed in a soft lavender pencil skirt and white blouse, with long black hair that fell to the cusp of her butt. A single bun wound up tight at the back of her head. Her face was as elegant and refined as her furnishings, her skin tone an exotic tan with deep almond brown eyes. She had an aura of great intelligence and deep compassion that soothed him. Though a stoic clinical mask was in place to protect her heart. Keeping their intimate relationship of doctor and patient, at a safe professional distance. They used to have weekly session's a year or so back, but as he began to cope better, or perhaps hide his trauma more effectively. The sessions were reduced to monthly, now he only booked time with her when he needed a cleansing or more medications.

She stared with sympathetic eyes at him for some time before speaking again.

"How are the medications going?" She asked quietly, getting right to the point of the visit.

"Their not." Came a low rumble from the young man.

"Are you taking them?" She voice was stern.

"Yes...but I am starting to see things again anyway. " He chuckled bitterly.

"How frequently...Mamoru-san?" She sighed.

He merely shrugged. "A few times over the last few months, but over the last few weeks it's become almost daily."

She raised an eyebrow wanting more information when he drew silent.

With a great sigh he continued. "Mostly reality twists when I stare at something for to long. " He groaned, finally scrubbing his hands down his face. Seeking to cleanse away the disturbing images he had been seeing in the rug earlier. He had gone into great detail of what he saw, the voices that spoke to him, years ago in middle school when had his first breakdown. That had landed him in the psych ward at the hospital and in this woman's care. It had been a long, emotionally draining and humiliating confession that he never wanted to experience again.

The labels...Schizophrenia, Bi-polar, Manic Depressive, Severe emotional trauma. Were all thrown around as the doctor's on the ward attempted to figure out what was causing his disturbing hallucinations. In the end they just medicated the hell out of him and sent him on his way.

"Ah...what kind of things?" She inquired, picking up a pad and pen from the coffee table.

"The snow of light falling around me...faces morphing and twisting, strange patterns forming in walls or floors." He sighed, rolling his shoulders in discomfort.

"I am glad you finally came, I wish you had come earlier before the symptoms got worse." She smiled warmly, then returned to finishing her written notes.

He smiled back weakly, rubbing the back of his neck and averting his eyes not wanting to stare at her for to long incase another vision twisted her features and made her into something horrific. He couldn't stand to watch the people he knew twisting into crazy monster's before his eyes. So he had been avoiding direct eye contact for weeks. His stomach had been churning with ever building anxieties, barely able to eat, his sleep having become almost none existent. Reduced to a starving, barely lucid state. He finally gave in. As he was unable to bear the horrible visions and their back lash any longer, he had set up an appointment to see his psychologist.

"You always seem to get worse at this time of year." She tapped her pen in thought upon the paper pad.

"The Anniversary of their death is only a few days away." He groaned, slumping even lower in his chair as if he was deflating balloon. Staring morbidly up at the white stucco ceiling. His eyes devoid of emotion, a comatose blankness in their depths. That spoke of a tired detachment to the whole thing.

"Precisely." she stated in a clipped acknowledgment.

"Well, I'll change up your anitpsychotic med's hopefully we can control them enough to get past this unfortunate annual event. After it's over everything should be back to normal for you...at least back to manageable." She continued clinically, as she stood up and moved behind her desk to jot down a prescription.

"Arigatio, Doctor Meioh." Mamoru stood up, wandering to her desk to take the small white note. Shoving it into a pocket of his jeans before exiting the office.

After his appointment Mamoru headed for his shift at the local Arcade near his apartment. His psychotic episodes over the years had aways held him back from achieving anything of value in his life. He had struggled with making friends, with getting through school, barely graduating so he had no prospects for higher learning. Able only to hold down modest jobs. Having worked all kinds of casual labour positions around the city, from construction to street maintenance. Now he was a janitor, for a local Arcade known as Game Centre Crown. Unable to deal with the complex social aspects of life. He liked jobs in which he was left alone and not forced to speak to others very often. Becoming a solitary recluse not by choice but for comfort. People scared him, to many uncontrollable situations could arise. If he was honest with himself life in general terrorfied him.

He had lost his parents in a tragic car accident as a young child. Being the only survivor, the trauma had left him with perminate brain damage. He had no memories beyond waking up in the hospital. His doctors and several psychologists had been dealing with his disturbing visual and auditory hallucinations ever since. He had become a ghost in his own life. With no friendships, no true connections to the world, he did just enough to survive and nothing more.

He couldn't handle complications, even the most simple deviation to his routine would drive him towards a complete breakdown and then he would find himself back in the Mental Ward at the hospital, for an extended stay. He didn't want that, so he kept his life simple, peaceful and uncomplicated.

"How is he doing?" Unazuki leaned over the front glass counter of the Arcade. Dressed in her navy High school fuku, tapping the toe of one of her dress shoes upon the old beige laminate floor. A slight young woman with bright red hair tied up in a long ponytail. With a very gentle face and compassionate green eyes. A fun loving, cheerful teenage girl who seemed to embody every high school cliche' of perfection. In her Sophomore year at Azabu High. She had lots of good friends, lived with her loving family from an upper class neighbourhood in Ropongii. Her average was very respectable, having already earned several scholarships to Tokyo University. She belonged to many after school clubs. Was very popular with the student body and her teacher's, that she was even nominated in as her first year class representative. Which she had held onto this year as well, she was part of the student government have achieved great prestige last year. Ambitious and idealistic she felt nothing was beyond her ability to handle or conquer.

All and all, Furuhata, Unazuki was a rising star who one day would make something great of herself. She had prospects...a future.

Well, Mamoru, he had a pay cheque and a roof of his head and that was enough. He never strove for more, those idea's had long been snuffed out by his limited abilities to cope. He on the other hand was the personification of under achievements, just getting by day to day was accomplishment enough.

"He's drowning, Una." Motoki glanced up from wiping the counter to gaze mournfully at his employee, currently hiding in the shadows of the back hall near the washrooms. Mopping the small hall repeatedly, refusing to move into the boisterous noise and neon glow of the main gaming room.

Motoki looked very little like his sister, still fair in hair and complexion as she was. Dressed in a white dress shirt and tan slacks with a old apron tied up around his back. He had dusty blonde hair and the same caring hazel green eyes. A round boyish charm to his features that had every middle school girl who frequented the Arcade having a major crush upon him. Gushing and taking photo's of him in secret on their phones. Both Mamoru and Una had come to the creepy conclusion those stalker girls had formed some kind of fan club. Elevating poor Motoki into some kind of middle school idol.

Mamoru on the other hand was seen as the silent lurker, who haunted the toilets. Rarely seen cleaning the main Arcade, until most of the after school crowds had dispersed. Or earlier in the afternoons before the horde of students converged upon the arcade.

His silent, antisocial behaviour earning him much hushed ridicule from the teens who frequented the Arcade. From long practice living on the fringe of society, he was easily able to ignore the jeers and unsavoury comments. Not fitting in had long since stopped bothering him, he learned to accept how negatively people perceived him. The subtle yet polite distance most people kept from truly getting to know him. He wasn't anything special, not to talk too or to look at. People couldn't or just never wanted to put in the effort to understand him. The world had given up on him, and he had given up on people. He liked it that way, sooner or later his disorder would push them away anyway. So he found he would rather be alone then face any more rejection.

Unazuki followed her older brother's gaze towards the back hall, finding Mamoru hunched over the long wooden handle of his mop. Staring unseeing down at the slick, shiny clean floor. He had been working for the Furuhata's Family Arcade for nearly a year now. Having put in enough effort to call both Motoki and his little sister Unazuki friendly acquaintances. He was nervous around people, socializing gave him huge amounts of stress. So he just did the bare minimum to keep a healthy working environment and offered little more.

They cared for him much more then he knew, his conversations with them over the months had been brief, awkward affairs. But they had both cherished every piece of information he had shared with them about himself. About his past and his mental issues that held him back from truly being apart of the world. They understood he felt very uncomfortable around people, that he lived a lonely isolated life of his own making. They never pushed for more from him, but remained at arms length. Friends in the wings to throw him a life preserver when he needed it. And right now he was struggling to remain on the surface of reality.

"Have you talked to him?" Una inquired.

"Tried. He is one word sentences today." Motoki grimaced.

"I could count on one hand the amount of words he has spoken to us over the year." Una laughed lightly.

"No, really. He has said only one word to me today." Motoki stated pointedly.

"Which was?" She stopped giggling long enough to inquire more detail.

"Working..." Motoki groused.

Una smirked, Mamoru could be rather rude and off putting at times. His somewhat gruff nature was a shield they knew all to well.

"Whenever I've tried to get him to say more, he just glowers at me like I'm annoying him and moves as far away from me as he can." Motoki whined, throwing a disgusted wave of his hand towards the back hall to illustrate another reason Mamoru was hiding back there.

Una merely nodded in understanding quieting her laughter, what was going on with Mamoru was not humorous.

"The countdown to 'D-Day'?" She asked sadly. The code name for the Anniversary of his parents deaths. Death-Day...

"Coming on Sunday, thats about a couple days away." Motoki tossed his rag under the counter, bracing a hand on his chin in contemplation.

"Well, I got a few minutes till my shift starts at the Parlour so I will give it a try...kay." Unazuki added cheerfully, jogging backwards away from the counter. Giving her brother the cocky sign for victory with her hand as she left.

Motoki groaned, his sister was far to idealistic and up beat for her own good. The grim reality of life never truly setting in for her yet. He had been out on his own for a couple years now, thrown out of the carefree lifestyle of living at home. Having to deal with juggling college and rent and all other adult responsibilities. Like figuring out his future and falling in and out of love for the first time. It was hard to come to grips with the fact that the world was truly cold and uncaring. A ceaseless, selfish tide of humanity that was all just trying to make sense of their own lives to pay any attention to anyone else's problems. That it was up to you to either keep fighting to stay a float or just allow that unrelenting tide to drown you. But Motoki had friends, and his family to help him, to make his burdens lighter. Mamoru had been fighting that tide of burdens all alone for far to long, it was time to start pulling him ashore. To show him in any small ways that he could count on others, that their were people in his life who unconditionally cared about him. That he was not all alone in this world.

"Kon'ichiwa...Mamoru-kun." Una bowed into his eyesight, with a bright smile. Pulling his gaze up reluctantly as she slowly righted herself.

"Kon...Kon'ichiwa. Furuhata-san." Mamoru stumbled nervously, his eyes darting away from her face unwilling to look at her.

Una's smile faltered, but she plunged forward not deterred by how uncomfortable she was making him. He was naturally kinda jittery around other's, more so around girls. It had taken several months to get Mamoru if even wish her a good day. Which was just smile in acknowledgement of her friendly greetings. Mostly he looked barely put together, absolutely no effort placed on his appearance at all. Seeking to camouflage himself into his environments, quiet and unobtrusive.

"After your shift would you come by the Fruits Parlour for a moment. I have some treats I would love for you to try. It's something I found the other day and I would love your opinion if they are any good. With valentines day coming up and all. " She giggled shyly. "Because I need a guy's perspective...before I give them to my new boyfriend." She finished blushing profusely.

Mamoru's eyes widened in both surprise and perhaps a hint of fear. "Arigatio...but working." He finished turning his back on her. Attempting to re-mop the far corner near the fire exit door. Hoping she would just leave him alone.

Unazuki never allowed him to duck his head like a turtle and hide away from her. With mild laughter she darted into his personal space yet again. Her smile having a sweet warmth that drew him up to look at her again.

"I said come after your shift, your not working then." She explained cheerfully.

"Oh...right..." He couldn't refute that. His eyes quickly falling to the floor, seeking the security of the faceless lino.

"I appreciate you...for..for... thinking of me. But I don't think I am the right choice for this...I mean. Your brother I am sure has had all kinds of treats from his girlfriend..." Mamoru tried to back out politely if clumsily. "I've...well. I have never had a girl give me anything before. I really have no expertize in Valentine treats." He grimaced, his brow furrowed in deep concern about tasting love candy. About having to endure an extended social encounter this evening. He never had anything interesting to say, or any natural charm to fall upon. Hell, he wasn't even all that funny...He couldn't even remember any knock, knock jokes from his youth anymore. That ball of anxiety was now roiling in his gut like an angry swarm of bees. His daily stomach ache roaring back to life with new vigour.

"I can't ask him! That would be soooo wrong. " She screeched in indignation. "He's my brother...and ewww."

Mamoru smiled faintly understanding, but really needing to figure out an excuse to appease her. He wanted her to go away before things went strange.

"All right...after my shift then." He relented softly, never having raised his eyes from the floor. Determined to return to his moping. He gave her his back once more.

Una smiled happily and bid him goodbye. Her plan was to warm him up with chocolate his favourite candy and then get him to open up a little. Show him that he had friends who wanted to listen and help him through this difficult time of year.

Racing back up to the front counter, Una snapped her fingers to get her brothers attention. Who had been staring off towards the back pin ball games. Catching two young lover's making out and feeling each other up in the relative privacy of the narrow alley between games. The boy was tall, in a navy school suit with wild dark brown hair that was nearly black. His greater height overpowering the smaller honey blonde he was currently engaged with. Trapping her between the two pin ball games as he devoured her lips with his. Her long hair swaying feverishly as she arched and melded her body against his. The boys hands were roveing all over the young woman's body, ducking under her middle school fuku shirt to caress her pert breasts and trailing beneath her dark blue skirt to cup her bum and press her groin up against his more intimately. Ravishing her mouth and neck with hungry kisses. The erotic sight they made bordering on the obscene and Motoki so totally sex starved, just couldn't stop staring!

"Nani!" Motoki shot his gaze to her in irritation. Not relishing the coming moment he would have to break up the public affection and usher the two overly hormonal couple out of the arcade for the afternoon. That kind of lewd behaviour was not allowed in Crown, he had to many elementary school patrons who did not need that kind of thorough education just yet. Though a part of him was jealous of the sexy action that high school kid was getting. His girl was sure a cute blonde thing, with long honey blonde hair. With a delicate yet tiny body and sweet features that had him rock hard in his pants. He hadn't seen any action for months, since Reika left him. It was making him short tempered and easily agitated and incredibly horny.

"Toki!" Una called impatiently, finding his gaze wandering back to the kissing session at the back.

"I need you to go grab me a box of chocolates at that new chocolate cafe down by Shinjuku Station. "

"Why...When?" he nearly shouted, in confusion.

"After your shift." Una smiled, "I need my carrot or our mule with never follow."

Motoki was totally confused right now.

"Look. It's a ploy to get Mamoru to sit down with me for a bit. I want to brighten his day and hopefully show him that he doesn't have to deal with all the stuff bothering him all by himself." She explained.

"Oh..." Motoki nodded. "So your hoping that he will sit and bear his soul over a box of chocolates, like he is one of your overly dramatic little girlfriends. You'll give him hugs, and cry together over his tragic past." He stated sarcasticly.

"Exactly!" Una pounded a fist on the counter not picking up on her brother's belittlement of her childish strategy.

"Won't work, I am not bothering to run around the city for your proverbial carrot. When the animal in question isn't even going to show up for that pathetic lure. Men do not work that way. " Motoki shrugged, seeking to leave his sister's side.

"Then tell me dear brother, how do men work?" She asked pointedly.

"We suck it up or brood over it, perhaps wallow a bit...get drunk and end up doing something far worse. That causes us even bigger problems to worry about then the ones that lead us to drinking in the first place." He stated matter of factly, seeking to leave her side.

Leaving Una staring in mute disbelief. Then she abruptly lunged out over the counter and grabbed him by the lapels of the collar of his white dress shirt.

"He will show up!" She professed determinedly.

Motoki chuckled dryly. "I'll bet you 2000 yen, he doesn't show." Lightly pulling her desperately clutching hands free of his shirt.

Mamoru was not a social creature, he would cut in run before reaching the restaurant or not even show up at all. Motoki knew he agreed to meet only to get her to back off. Mamoru would do what ever was needed to appease her. His sister was pushy and somewhat pig headed, she never seemed to understand her limits or that of the people around her.

"That's a bet!" She confirmed confidently, slapping down a hand full of yen on the counter. "Now go get me my carrot!" She pointed at him before pointedly leaving the Arcade.

After she left Motoki glanced over to the pin ball games finding dismally that the couple had taken off.

"Damn, missed the rest of the show..." He grumbled, somewhat disappointed at not being able to voyeur any more. It had been months since Reika had dumped him and left the country for a scholarship to England. He was heart broken, sexually frustrated and the chip on his shoulder concerning women in general just kept cutting deeper into his heart. Releasing a long drawn out sigh he returned to absently cleaning the counter.

Motoki did as he was told, dropping off a nicely wrapped shimmering gold box of chocolates at the Parlour. Bidding his sister good luck, as she sat herself down at a corner booth in the trendy eatery that over looked the busy avenue below. The sun was sinking beyond the slate grey steel tower's of Azabu-Juban. The faint half light of dusk falling like a smothering dark blanket over the city, the glow of street lamps coming alive. Illuminating the sidewalks in faint burst of pale yellow unable to compete with the flashy neon glow of the local facades of chain restaurants, convenience stores and local businesses. That surrounded the Azabu commercial distinct.

A small smile of satisfaction crossed her face as she watched Mamoru cross the busy street towards the Parlour. He was right on time. Jogging a bit as if he thought he was late, having thrown on a black jean jacket over his old worn, t-shirt to ward against the evening chill. He stopped on the sidewalk before the restaurant, that hung over the second story of the mini mall below. Staring up at the glass wall with growing trepidation, licking the corners of his mouth nervously. His face was white and growing more pale by the second. A cold sweat beading upon his skin, making him shiver. His heart rate had sped up considerably since leaving the security of the other side of the street, as utter panic set in. Unazuki took note of how absolutely terrorfied he looked, like a prey animal sensing it was about to be attacked. It confused her for a bit, never having seen a grown man look so vulnerable. Then promptly he turned on his heel and bolted back across the street, jumping onto the first transit bus that pulled over at the local stop.

Her smile evaporated, replaced by utter shock.

"Stubborn mule." She muttered, resigned to paying up to her brother later. Ripping the glittering wrapping paper off the box and digging into the chocolates bitterly. She thought Mamoru was just being a typical male, unwilling to allow a woman to comfort him. Not understanding how truly afraid he was of allowing people to get close.

Night had fallen when Mamoru returned to his modest apartment. A simple one bedroom on the eighth floor of a middle class tower. It was nothing special, an old brown stone complex built decades ago. That seemed to fade into the landscape of apartment tower's at the fringe of Juuban.

Moving through the glass doors of the small entry way, he entered into a gaudy orange foyer. Decorated with copper wall lamps and fake wood from two decades ago. The rug was rust red, so thin and frayed from years of wear one could see the cement beneath. He flashed the old security guard at the beaten up front desk his key card. That dangled from a tacky neon blue lucky rabbit's foot. He had this tendency to loose small things, his inability to discern reality from dream making him somewhat absent minded. So he found bright keychains helped him keep track of his keys and other small items. His keychains were always bright and whimsical, somewhat childish in their own way. The only truly cheerful trinkets he owned. Mamoru on the other hand was the complete opposite, a serious somewhat gloomy person. Who truly wondered if he could ever feel as easy going and happy as those keychains he owned suggested. He told himself they served a purpose, it wasn't some pathetic cry for help, a way to reclaim a lost childhood he would never know.

The security guard was an old man. A Bald, retired cop. Heavily over weight and uncaring about protecting the property or the occupants in the tower. Slumped in his black mesh office chair, snoring contentedly.

Mamoru rolled his eyes and shook his head ruefully. The ancient man was so out of shape he doubted he could even get out of his chair fast enough to stop a robbery, let alone scold any teenagers from loitering out near the front doors. It was a bit sad how the man had let himself go. Just sitting there, he was horribly red in the face and perspiring as if he had just run a marathon. A can of coke and a huge bag of chips sat discarded beside him at the desk. He wondered if the weight and poor eating was the man's way to a slow suicide? Or just truly uncaring about his health? Either way who was he to intrude upon the man's life.

Mamoru sighed and headed for the elevator just past the desk, finding the yellow tape criss crossing the doors. It had been broken for months, he wondered why he kept hoping that one evening it would just magically be fixed. The landlord seemed to have no intention of putting anymore money into the property. Mamoru's rent was reasonable, so he never complained about the little things that went unfixed. Like having to repair his own plumbing or changing the light bulbs in the outer hall. But not having an elevator when he had to go up the top floor every night was getting very irritating. But he wasn't one to speak up, so he merely sighed at the broken metal doors and gave them a smart kick of frustration. With his hope dashed over the elevator he turned to face the silver metal wall of post office boxes. That took up a good portion of the whole back wall of the foyer.

Absently digging out his tiny mail key from his jeans pocket, that dangled off his keychain along with his keycard. He opened the metal door, finding it as empty as the day before. Having no family or friends, his mail box received very little letters. Mostly bills and flyer's and when those ran out it was left sadly barren for the rest of the month.

With a sigh he lightly slammed the door shut and pulled out his key, jogging over to the stairs set on the other side of the elevator and heading up. It was going to be another long climb up to his floor.

The staircase was a winding cement monster, with the same rust red carpet covering up the hard concrete. With small landings at every floor, a single lamp hung like a torch over top a narrow window. As if he was climbing a modern castle turret towards the keep at the top. He was half way up to his floor when the strange feeling of being watched started to prick against the back of his neck.

"Hello..." He whispered breathlessly, having felt those very same eyes watching him for years. When ever his mental torture began to surface.

"Who are you..." He shuttered, his blood running cold, then bolted up the steps in a raw panic. A threatening paranoia over coming his common sense. The eyes seemed to penetrate the very fabric of reality, glowering down upon him with with such hate and vengeance it turned his insides to ice. Those vile eyes meant him harm...belonging to some powerful demon who wanted to rip the flesh from his bones and devour his heart like some midnight snack.

He pushed his body beyond his endurance, mounting the steps two or three at a time. Climbing onward at an intense speed that by the time he flew threw the metal fire exit doors on his level. He was perspiring heavily, red in the face and rapidly panting out of breath. Only when he slammed the thick metal door closed behind him did the eerie feeling of those inhuman eyes fade. Slumping in exhaustion against the door he slid to the floor of the poorly lit hall utterly spent. Taking a few minutes to gather his wits and his breath he just sat on the floor staring into the blank darkness ahead of him. His eyes wide and fearful, as if expecting some monster to lunge out and gut him right there. He couldn't say he was a brave person, or even a fighter, just a survivor. He seemed to know when to run quite well, never having engaged in real combat in his life. When it came to a fight or flight situation, Mamoru would choose flight. It was just his instinct to run and hide not to stand and fight when faced with the crazy unknown.

"Shit!" He wailed into the vacant, lonely hall. Remembering he hadn't filled his prescription for new medication. With bitter growls and a few more sharp swear words. He rose back up to his shaky feet, his damp hand gripping the handle of the fire exit with white knuckled strain. Willing his legs that felt like jelly to move, his hand to turn the knob, needing to release the door. All the while his mind was crazed with the thoughts of those evil eyes glaring at him as he descended the stairwell. Like a predator about to pounce, those same anxious feelings of being watched, judged, and soon to be killed smothering him all over again.

"I can do this...be strong...it's not real...all in your mind..." He urged himself, his body not moving. Frozen to the spot like a coward, trembling like a leave. "Move you fool! Stupid, crazy baka!" He shouted at himself, ripping open the door and tearing down the steps with all the speed he had. Hating himself for being such an unreasonable coward. Hating his broken mind for always tormenting him and plain hating everything about his life. Screaming through the foyer like a maniac, trapped in his growing madness and out the glass entry doors and into the night.

The old man behind the front desk was jolted out of his nap, jumping to his feet and screaming along with Mamoru. Standing completely pole axed as he watched the young man run off down the street and disappear into the city.

An hour later, Mamoru was wandering down the commercial strip of Azabu. Filled with restaurants, small shops and cafe's. The neon glow of the bright commercial signs an eclectic backdrop around him. A brown bag clutched tight in his hand, he kept his head down moving through the evening crowds headed out for supper or other forms of entertainments. While he was intent on getting home. To the relative safety of his apartment. Take his pills and hopefully gain control of his psychosis before it got any worse. Not paying attention to his surroundings, he bumped his shoulder harshly against someone passing him through the moving throng.

"Gomen..." He muttered, raising his head nervously from his sneakers. Finding an old white haired business man dressed in a black suit and tie, rubbing his shoulder absently.

"Not a problem, sonny. But you should keep your eyes up and pay attention to your surroundings. You never know when the world is going to end." He smiled somewhat manically, his lips thinning and stretching beyond their limits. Revealing a maw of sharp teeth like thousands of needles, a forked tongue shot out to lick the air before his nose. His skin paled and became grey and translucent, showing off a fine webbing of blue veins. As the old man's eyes rolled back into his head, an inky darkness filling the white void.

"It will be a glorious hell to see..." the demon cackled.

Mamoru sucked in a cold breath and took a step back.

"Are you alright my boy?" A kind baritone called out to him. Mamoru shook his head, needing to clear the unwanted nightmare vison. Returning his focus to confronting the concerned face of an old business man in a dark suit and tie.

"Are you ok?" The old man asked again, gripping Mamoru's shoulder fatherly.

"Yeah...sorry...I'm just not feeling well right now. " Mamoru stuttered, backing up in a panic. Then turned on his heel and bolted into the street feeling those evil eyes staring down at him from everywhere.

The traffic slammed on their breaks as he ducked and weaved through the cars, nearly getting run over several times. Car horns blared into the night behind him, as he scrambled onto the adjacent sidewalk and tore off through a small iron gateway and into Juban's main park. Needing to get away from people, to find a vacant, peaceful setting to gain control of his rising panic. He was tempted to just start popping his pills right there on the shadowed path. But that could be dangerous, not being able to see which ones he was taking. If he took the wrong combination he could send himself into a severe psychotic state that would land him in jail if not back in the mental ward for a few months of recovery.

"This is the worst it's ever been..." he shivered, clutching his head as another more powerful wave of paranoia bathed over him. He could feel several more eyes glaring down at him from the cold starlight above. He felt like a bug under a microscope, all helpless and terrorfied with no way to escape. Left to wait breathless for his slow demise at the hands of a greater being. He refused to look up incase he would actually see those very demonic eyes staring back at him. Keeping his head down at his plodding feet, listening to the crunch of the stones beneath his sneaker's. The steady beat of his heart, a tuneless focus for him to latch onto, calming him just slightly as he lost himself in the shadowed depths of the park. When suddenly the snow fall of pure light began to float around him. Falling in lazy circles over his head. Bathing the forest landscape that had closed in around him in a frozen white glow. He finally pulled his gaze up, to find himself lost in the parks lush trees. The path having weaved into a glade of birch and spruce, their long limbs arching over head in a labyrinth of twisting naked branches. The tiny lights flickering and glowing softly as they floated down from the barren sky, dusting the trees and falling between the cracks of the branches like fresh snow. The spots of silver light floated around him, like dreamy firefly's, illuminating the night briefly before winking out.

Gazing up the heavens, he found the sky overcome by thousands of these small stars falling towards the earth. As soon as they hit the pale grass, like weak sparks they snuffed themselves out. Then they began to increase and fall faster down from the black velvet of the sky. He could make out the pale glow of the full moon beyond the chaos of snowflakes of light, a silent witness to a crazed young man standing all alone in the park. His wide eyes filled with amazement, the deep pools of blue reflecting the falling lights. This mania he felt trapped in was both exhilarating as it was terrifying.

Suddenly the tiny glowing sparks became a swirling maelstrom of floating light. It was like being in a blinding snow storm, he couldn't see two feet in front of him. To scared to move he stood rigid within the storm, watching in astonishment as patterns began to form within the supposed chaos. The lights seemed to be forming strange symbols, falling in sets of numerical patterns that only he could figure out. As surreal as it was, he also felt somewhat special. As if being able to see these patterns was a gift that made him superior to an average man. As quickly as the euphoria came it past into a sick, humiliating feeling. His thin grip on reality swaying back and forth like sinking ship. None of this was real, he wasn't having some out of body experience. Some greater power was not trying to communicate with him. He was just nuts!

His heart was hammering in his chest once again, the swirling spots of light creating a dizzy nausea that made feel like vomiting. As a cold panic set in over his whole body, knees growing weak and every inch of him trembling in fear. A thick sweat beading over his skin, trickling down his back. His flesh pricking with thousands of itchy pin points. Starting to feel very unnerved by the irritations over his skin. He began to rub his arms up and down, rolling his shoulder's and stamping his feet to clear the unsettling feelings.

Swallowing hard as his vision took on a whole new kind of crazy...

He could see a small wisp of a girl, hiding just beyond the storm of fairy lights. Pressed up against the smooth pale bark of a nearby birch tree. Her form was small, fine boned almost elfin in the perfectly tiny proportions. Dressed only in a very thin, pearl white night gown that was both simple and elegant. With puffs of material hanging low over her shoulder's, looking very much like some sweet baby doll style lingerie. Her soft pale skin beneath the thin gown clearly visible in the soft silver light of the falling stars. He could clearly see the swell of one breast, the soft pink of her nipple a tiny shadow pressed up against the tree. He found himself blinking lamely, as his groin swelled in his pants. Becoming aroused by the flimsy garments, pathetic attempt to shield her gloriously nude body. He may have been nervous wreck around women, but he was still a man! The sight of an unearthly beautiful, nearly naked girl peeping at him was enough to arouse him painfully.

His sharp eyes staring to roam over her, taking in every small detail of her alluring form. Drinking in every aspect of her, like she was a fine wine. Savouring every curve, every sweet line of her healthy, supple looking body. She had a sleek, lithe abdomen and a firm flat stomach, her hips were slim. He swore he could wrap both of his hands around her waist easily. With a well formed butt that tapered into her slender thighs.

She made quite an erotic sight, like a love doll from one of his many Hentai Dojinshi back in his room. A delicate hourglass body with long slender legs and fine boned arms with dainty hands. Her long golden hair tied up in twin odango's and tails, that trailed down to the earth. Her fringe of bangs hanging low over the sweet curve of each warm blue eye. A natural heart shaped part in the middle of her forehead. Her light blonde hair shining a pale silver under the gaze of the full moon. Pooling in swirling spirals at her tiny delicate bare feet, as she peered out demurely at him from the tree, just a few yards away. The soft lines of her face was sweet yet elegant, her round cheeks flushed with a heated blush as she stared just as intently back at him. Her crystal blue eyes wide and moist with uncertainty and perhaps fear.

She held his gaze captive with those wide innocent eyes, her unwavering gaze casting some kind of entrancing spell upon him. He couldn't break eye contact with her, his mind falling into a numbing haze as she became the whole of his existence. The world around him falling away until only she remained.

The flakes of light began to fade away, announcing the end of this psychotic episode. Yet she remained as solid as ever. Hiding just out of sight, watching him like a frightened deer.

Mamoru swallowed again, his mouth suddenly gone quite dry as she slowly moved out of hiding revealing herself like a lost child. Her fear replaced by a simple curiosity, her once terrorfied blue eyes now calmed into a heart warming tranquility. The arousal in his pants increasing as she approached quietly. Was becoming quite unbearable and very uncomfortable for him. As was his stupid, awe struck expression as she drew near. A cold sweat broke over him as she stopped inches before him, drawing his eyes downward as she barely reached his lower chest in height. She was a tiny, fairy like creature that seemed to draw energy from the Moonlight itself. Her skin seemed to glow with an elemental energy beyond his understanding. Bowing her head, her long lashes falling to cover her brilliant blue eyes. As she slowly closed her eyelids, taking several long strengthening breaths. Then she tentatively reached out a hand, as if needing to reassure herself he was real. Lightly grasping his upper arm then just as quickly withdrew her touch. Curling her hand near her breasts, a small almost imperceptible smile pulling at the corner of her full lips. A restrained happiness it seemed, as if the full extent of her feelings couldn't be called forth.

He shuttered instantly, the reaction to her touch sending bolts of intense attraction through out his body.

His body felt like it was on fire and he suddenly wanted to bay at the moon. This was all so totally surreal.

He craved to touch her as well, to draw her into him and deepen this encounter into something more passionate. Having never experienced anything this profound in his whole life. His lips burned with a longing to feel hers, his hands worrying the hem of his t-shirt in an effort not to reach out for her as well. Entranced by the sight of her chest rising and falling as if she truly was alive. She was everything he had ever imagined the perfect woman to be. All sweet innocence and unconsciously sexy and erotic with every small gesture her body made. But he held himself back, she wasn't real. Just a figment of his broken mind. He wasn't going to allow himself to indulge in his mass psychosis.

With great effort he pulled himself back, refusing to bask in her amazing beauty any longer. He resolutely closed his eyes and turned on his heel proceeding to walk away. His chest suddenly constricted as if a dagger had been thrust unmercifully into his heart as he turned his back on her. He felt ice cold inside, empty and afraid. As if he was shunning a very important piece of his own soul. He didn't understand these intense feelings, was struggling to breath as well as maintain his own sanity. Several minutes later he noticed the echoing whisper of footsteps in his wake. Turning to look over his shoulder he found the strange young woman following him. She looked scared, holding herself tightly as she glanced around the deep shadows amid the trees. Her eyes overly wide and glistening with vulnerability. He steeled himself turning back around to pay attention to the narrow dirt path, refusing to acknowledge the figment now trailing behind him like a ghost. Yet strangely relieved to feel her pressence haunting his back. Following him out of the park and into the clogged night time streets of Azabu.

He cautiously watched the expressions of the people he past on the street, needing to find some proof if she was truly alive. Finding with a growing sense of grief that the stranger's never seemed to notice her. People tend to make brief eye contact with each other as they pass by, no one seemed to look towards her at all. At first he felt he needed to prove she wasn't real, that it would make him feel better. But in the end it only enhanced his sense of loneliness, the ever growing void of isolation he had created for himself, becoming morbidly more pronounced. He curled his strong finger's in anger, into the rolled up top of his badly wrinkled paper bag. As tears of loss and abandonment began to form in his eyes, he swallowed his feelings, held firmly to his control, refusing to give into his pain. He had felt just as overlooked, just as invisible to other's as his dream girl was. It hurt, more then he would ever let on. His throat stung with the bitter resentments he held towards every other person in this world. Who all seemed to have far more happy and content lives compared to him. Disgusted by how self involved they all were, so caught up in their shallow concerns. Unable to see beyond themselves and their petty concerns. She was as invisible as he was...

He finally reached his apartment foyer once more. Flashing his key card with out glancing up from his shoes, not caring who was manning the front desk any more. Heading up the stairs as the full weight of how far gone he had become pulling his spirit into the depths of despair. This was all totally crazy, he had never had a hallucination last so long, or be so very alive! He could hear her feet padding softly behind him, her faint sounds of exhaustion, the hot puffs of her breath upon his back. As she meekly followed him up the insane amount of steps to his floor.

He just kept repeating in his mind, she wasn't real...she was just some beautiful dream he had created to fill the void in his heart. Entering his outer hall, he mutely closed the fire escape door in her face. Her startled face on the other side, trapped in the stairwell. Stared up at him from the tiny square window. The hurt that briefly crossed her features was heart breaking. But she wasn't real...he shouldn't feel anything towards a figment of his shattered mind. He was struggling mightily not to give into his mania. With a moan of pain, Mamoru quickly turned his back on her, walking down the poorly lit hall, forcing himself to look straight ahead and not acknowledge her any further. At first he didn't hear her foot steps and felt that perhaps she had faded away as all dreams tend to. At the thought his chest grew tight and his heart ached as if he had lost something dear. The same destroyed feeling he couldn't place when the doctor had told him his parents were dead and he was all alone in this world.

Then her soft foot falls echoed to him from just behind, he released a thankful breath he never knew he was holding. Swiping his card over the electronic reader before his simple wood door. As the light flashed green the tell tale click of the lock released. He deftly opened the front door, watching with a slight smile of amusement as his dream girl darted into his apartment ahead of him. Not wanting to have another door slammed in her face.

He entered behind her, closing his door softly, watching as she pranced away from his entry way and into the living room. He tossed his keys into a ceramic bowl, set on a side table in his small foyer. As he then pulled his sweaty feet out of his worn out sneaker's. Padding with familiar confidence through the lightless apartment in stocking feet into his main area. Which was lit only by the pale light of the moon shining in from the large patio window on the far side of the living room. He set his paper bag on the off grey tile island that divided the living area from his tiny galley kitchen. Glancing around the muted shadows, finding his girl sitting primely on his one black leather recliner. Her hands compressed between her knees, gazing around the large living room uncertainly. Taking in all the poorly defined details of his sparce furnishings. The one matching leather couch against the front wall, a low black fake wood coffee table. The thick plank of untreated plywood braced on two pillars of concrete bricks that he used as a computer desk against the far wall. The large fire red leather bean bag that sat before it as a chair. All the naked white walls devoid of any pictures.

Mamoru chuckled ruefully as her face veiled a deep sadness at how spartan his place was. It showed no personality at all, a plain, sterile atmosphere that lacked in any personal fingerprint to the owner. Like a cell, sterile and functional but having absolutely no personality.

He heaved a sigh, setting out each small plastic container of pills from his bag. When he had finished lining up the prescriptions, he glanced up finding her standing in front of the island. Staring in mild confusion at the pills. Mamoru sighed again, deeper and more depressed then before. Reading each label as he separated his doses into his weekly organizer, adjusting his current medications already in their tiny daily boxes. When that was done he found her still standing before the island, her chin braced in folded arms on the tile counter. Staring up at him with the most innocent yet oblivious expression, it brought a slight smile to his face. She was absolutely darling. Having entered his heart like a cherished dream one was reluctant to forget upon waking. It was absurd how quickly he had become attached to her.

"You are not real." he grimaced, closing each lid with a decisive snap. Willing himself the strength to say goodbye to this gorgeous delusion before him. He oddly felt the most comfortable in her pressence, a soothing familiarity, as if she was a piece of him he had lost a long time ago.

Her face crumpled as he said it, looking utterly crushed by his cruel statement. Not knowing that she was just picking up on his heart break. That as of right now she had no way of understanding his words.

"I wish you were, truly." He smiled weakly down at her, dumping his daily dose of med's into his hand, that he forgotten to take that morning. Blaming his rush to get to his appointment as the cause to all this foolish delirium he was currently enduring. He had been irresponsible today and now he was paying for it brutally.

She smiled brilliantly back up at him, not understanding a word. As he turned his back on her. Her smile faltering into grim contemplation. As he headed to the back cupboard for a glass then turned on the kitchen tap to fill it.

Returning to the island he slammed his water down, setting his pills beside the glass gently. Then raked his hands threw his hair fiercely in rising distress. Fighting with himself to take his medications, needing to force himself to return to reality. But he just didn't want to...struggling with his desire not to lose her and the consequences of remaining in this psychotic state waring inside of him.

With a groan of frustration he stormed away from the counter and into the living room, throwing himself on the couch with a cry of desperation.

"I can't do it!" He yelled out. Beginning to laugh in a strained almost manic way. "I don't want you to go away." He craned his head up, staring down his chest towards her. As she had dashed to his side, kneeling before the couch. Her small hands clasped over top his, that were resting against his chest. He could feel her small fingers curling around his hand, the slight pressure of her touch. The warmth of her body pressing up against his side. It as all so profoundly real to him, he felt like he had truly lost his mind this time. With her wide compassionate blue eyes searching his with comfort. Seeking to soothe the pain she felt deep inside of him with her pressence. He allowed himself to bask in her for a long while, losing himself in her and allowing the real world to fall away unnoticed.

Her sweet innocence a halo that surrounded him, soothing and warming his lonely heart. The sense of heaven reflecting back at him through her beautiful blue eyes. He allowed himself to be lost in those eyes, the feelings of contentment washing over him. She was everything he needed, everything warm and bright that was lacking in his life. He just couldn't let go...

"I know I've just met you, that your just a figment of my delusions. But you seem to fill that void that has existed inside of me since my parents died. " He smiled warmly at her, gripping her hands back with his own for the first time. "I can't describe it, but life feels less hopeless, I feel less alone with you here."

He sighed bitterly, allowing a couple tears to escape from the corner of his eyes. He had never felt so comfortable and free around anyone like he did with her. The intimate connection he felt had been instantaneous, and she hadn't even said a word yet? Perhaps it was because she wasn't a real girl, but part of him in some way. But the connection he felt between them was real, at least to him. "But if I don't take those pills, then the demons will continue to find me. I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with the true horrors that lurk out there." he began weakly... "I've learned to get along with the voices of doom that nag me inside my head, ignore them to some extent. " he stared up at the shadows darkening his stucco roof. Not noticing how her eyes softened even more, the depth of empathy she felt for him seemed fathomless.

"But the waking nightmares I see...I feel I might not be able to endure them for long. Those frightening visions of monster's and destruction scare me beyond measure." Mamoru shuttered, gripping her hands tighter, seeking the comfort they provided like a life preserver.

He finally started to open up to someone about his true fears, his growing visions of the coming apocalypse. His hopes and dreams that this horrific end was not to come true. How he wanted to fall in love, marry and have a family of his own. She listened the whole night through, holding his hands and soothing him with just being there next him. As he cried and honestly bared his soul for the first time to another person.

"Please never say goodbye...stay by my side forever." he whispered brokenly at the end of his heart felt confession. She merely nodded, tears of her own falling freely down her cheeks.

As it was when one lived between dream and reality, he lost track of himself during the night and fell asleep on the couch.

The sun was beating upon him through his huge living room window, his skin heated to a scorching degree. Hot and clammy, his shirt sticking against him uncomfortably. Feeling groggy and half coherent as if recovering from a night of heavy drinking. His throat felt raw and dry like he had been licking sand paper. He stumbled to his feet and lurched towards the kitchen for a drink. The strange night coming upon him in sleepy half aware waves. Glancing around the quiet, barren looking apartment now lit up like a flare from the morning sun. Slowly coming to his senses that his dream girl was no where to be seen.

Glancing down to the side of the couch he found an empty whiskey bottle laying on it's side, which explained the aching handover he was feeling. Yet he didn't remember drinking last night? He often drank alone, intoxicating himself to the point of unconsciousness several times a week. It was a pathetic vice, that served to numb him for a short time. A mini vacation from having to deal with his daily struggles of remaining sane.

Suddenly a ice cold ball of dread formed in his gut. Darting for the island, finding the pills he had set aside the night before gone and half the water glass drained. With out thinking he must have woken in the middle of the night and taken his pills. Years of training and discipline at keeping his mental sickness at bay having betrayed him. Or he had been drunk and just done it with out thinking, either way the deed was done. The pills would have cleansed away all traces of his hallucinations.

Deep down he knew that if he didn't take those pills he may be able to keep his dream girl around, but so would all those demons come knocking on his door as well. Perhaps in the end he felt he wouldn't be strong enough to deal with the horrors and decided to live in the real world instead.

"oh...no..." he breathed, as all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room. His had lost her...killed her even, when he had taken those anti psychotic's. His insides were broiling with acid, eyes stinging with coming misery. She was gone...truly gone...and it was all his fault...his cowardly weakness had killed her.

Then he heard the soft whisper of the shower echoing from down the back hall. He was in a dead sprint in the next moment, thundering down the short hall and thrusting the bathroom door open. Steam billowed out past his pale stricken face. His plain white tile bathroom coming into view, with it's large soaker tub and outer shower stall. The modest wooden bench for washing off the soap from the tub kicked up against the wall when not in use.

The water stopped just as the steam cleared, now confronted by a very naked, very supple young woman with extra ordinarily long golden hair. Her body wet and wrapped up in a fluffy cotton towel. Standing completely startled in his bathroom, before the tub, staring awe struck at him like a deer in headlights.  
"Oh...god..." He whispered brokenly, his once dead heart now leaping alive and pulsing rapidly in his chest again.

"I thought I'd lost you!" he cried, lunging for her. Gripping her shoulder's tight as he swung her into the bathroom wall. He had never been a bold man, but he was just so thankful and relieved she was still around he was going on pure passion. She yelped in fright as she was instantly pinned against the wall, his lips crashing against hers. Fulfilling a craving he had, had since last night. She moaned, instinctively kissing him back just as fiercely, her body melting against his unconsciously. As the towel fell to the damp floor, leaving her totally nude before him. Her moan of approval soon turning to a muffled cry of sudden humiliation, as her whole body flushed a sweet blushing rose.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all who have given this new story a chance.

XxNarielxx : Here is the next chapter.

Paramecio: You didn't have to wait long. Lol.

* * *

**Delirium**

Chapter Two:Absence of Living

Her soft, plaintive sounds of distress finally penetrated through the thick haze of his euphoria. Clearing his head enough to pull away from her delicious lips. His eyes flying wide in both alarm and growing appreciation of how perfectly formed her naked body truly was. His desire for her growing and beginning to overcome his common sense. Once again his eyes began to devour her, licking her flesh subtly with his rapt stare. Her hair cascaded down her back, flowing like a golden river, still shimmering with moisture. Curling sweetly just behind her knees, providing her a demure shield against her sweetly curving butt. Her skin was smooth, creamy and flawless like silk. Almost glowing as if enhanced by some inner fire. With pert round breasts, their subtle bouncing as she moved away drawing his eyes like a moth to a flame. Her delicate nipples were gorgeous, tiny pink buttons thrusting out towards him in welcome. Such alluring soft orbs he wanted nothing more then to touch them. To caress them fondly and mold them in the palms of his hands. Below was her slender flanks, with her toned flat stomach and curving hips that mirrored that of some elegant stringed instrument. The cutest tuft of blonde hair covered her most private place between her legs. His heart was thundering in his ears with excitement, at the unbelievably sexy body she laid claim to. All kinds of very naughty images flashed through his mind as to what he wanted to do with her exquisitely supple body. The fierce attraction he had to her was startling, having never experienced such intense emotions like this before. He understood it as a version of lust, having felt that many times towards the sex models in his comic's, magazines and various erotic video's he had collected. He felt his arousal aching, straining the fabric of his pants, making his head dizzy and thoughts clouded by desire. But the attraction was more then just simple desire, it hummed inside of him like a blazing fire. Pooling like hot sweet nectar inside his belly, warming him in so many more ways then just the physical. His skin was tingling with her nearness, an unbelievable yearning expanding in his heart as he was compelled to pull her against him. Instead he found himself just staring dumbstruck down at her nude form unsure what to say, what to do or how to act. His finger's curling and stretching nervously at his sides, as he forced his compulsions to have his way with her down deep.

She stood silent, blinking rapidly up at him to keep her tears at bay. As she fought down her own embarrassment of being on complete display before him. Her whole body glowing a heated pink, as she valiantly attempted to cover her breasts and womanhood with her arms and hands. Looking utterly vulnerable and humiliated beneath his piercing and unwavering gaze. His ogling had only been for a few seconds, but it felt like he had been staring at her for an eternity.

Then crisp clear clarity of what he was doing struck him like a blow. It dawned upon him how rude and disrespectful he had acted. His mind and body turned as cold as ice, as deep humiliation set in. He quickly ducked his head, a heated blush flowing over his own face. "Gomen..." he breathed, closing his eyes and taking flustered steps away from her towards the doorway. Walking blind into the door a couple times, before realizing he needed to crack his eyes open a bit to navigate properly out of the narrow bathroom.

"Oh...Gomen ni sai..." He called in a very embarrassed wavering voice as he shuffled down the hall. Feeling like a total cretin for acting so bold with her.

Slumping into the overly stuffed arm chair in the living room, not knowing what to do with himself. His mind churning over very confusing and complicated emotions. He had been so overcome with relief and joy that she was still alive. He had acted with out rational thought and now regretted his forceful treatment of her. He had acted like a total Hentai!

But she wasn't real...why was he treating her like she was a living, feeling young woman? She was a figment of his imagination...he shouldn't feel guilty for how he acted. She was a plaything of his mind...right. He should not have to feel so horrible about how he had forced her to kiss him. Her towel fell off because he willed it to not because of his abrupt man handling of her. Yet the hurt and humiliated emotions that crossed her face were not imagined. Or were they? Everything was so convoluted he felt like screaming.

He needed to go for a run, clear his mind and try to figure out what was going on. With a grunt of agreement with himself he rose swiftly from the chair and headed for his bedroom. A small room that abutted the front wall just before the kitchen.

It was as vacant and lifeless as the living room. With only the bare necessities for sleeping within. He had a simple iron bed frame with a double sized mattress tucked inside. The black bed sheets and dark navy comforter was twisted and bunched into a far corner of the mattress. The bed sat against the room's large front window. The warm light of the sun splintering through the slates of a bamboo blind, that was only half way closed. An old wooden dresser sat against the far wall near the modest sized closet. Cluttered with brushes and combs, simple plastic and glass ornate bottles of skin cream and cologne. The cream looked nearly empty, while the masculine perfume was clearly untouched. An obvious symbol of his non-existent love life.

A matching side table to the dresser sat beside the bed with a silver goose neck lamp set defgon top. Not a scrap of clothes littered the wooden laminate floor, all tucked away into a laundry sack behind the door.

Mamoru paid no attention to the sounds of her now padding around the living room, or the creak of his cupboards being opened the closed as she rummaged in the kitchen. Dressing in a pair of grey sweats and white long sleeve shirt. Throwing on a black track jacket incase their was a crisp wind blowing. It wasn't quite spring so the days could still be rather cold. It was that limbo time between seasons, when the chill and barren days of winter still lingered. Yet one could smell the sweet scent of new life just about to burst forth, but it still remained sleeping beneath the thin layer of frost. It was during these transition times that he felt the most anxious, when he couldn't be certain of the weather. Never able to prepare adequately enough, it made him irritable when what he expected from the day turned around and left him floundering. He was never one to just go with the flow, the very concept of being able to relax and take things as they come. Gave him a severe allergic reaction, akin to an itchy rash or even hives. He liked his life planned out and comfortingly boring. He hated the unsuspected, even the most simple like the ever changing weather was enough to send him over the edge.

He swiftly left his bedroom, not paying her a glance as he headed to put on his sneaker's. Dressed once more in her flimsy white shift, her hair once again styled in it's buns and tails. She had been searching for something to eat within his kitchen's back cupboards, sadly finding them as barren and empty as his furnishings. Hearing his heavy footsteps pass in front of the island, she turned curiously to find him breezing into the front entry way.

Closing the cupboard door absently she followed him out of the apartment and down onto the streets of Tokyo. Setting aside her need for food compelled to follow as if she was tethered to him by some unseen force.

Mamoru took to the rarely used trails of Shiba Park, setting an intense pace hoping to work through his confusion. Jogging down the narrow over grown footpaths that wound like a thin ribbon deep in the trees. Navigating along his well worn path around the man made lake that took up a large portion of the nature reserve on this side of the park. He could just make out the shimmering water twinkling between the blur of thick tree trunks. The sunlight was fragmenting over the heavy woodland, dancing through the branches and around the underbrush. Casting the forest in a gentle golden hue that made the colors of the frozen grass look more lush, the thin layer of budding leaves upon the trees and bushes more full. Tricking the visual senses to believe that spring was starting early. The quiet beauty of the morning was ignored by the brooding dark haired man seeking to out run his current problems.

Glancing frustratingly over to his strange companion, who had decided to accompany him. All he wanted was a little time alone to figure things out, a part of him was irritated with her for following him. Another part of him was relieved she stayed nearby, thankful even. While another part of him was intensely frustrated with himself for being so contradictory.

She floated beside him, her legs tucked up near her bum. Arms outstretched for balance and leaning forward as if being held aloft by invisible wings. She had started out just walking when they left the apartment but when he had broken out into a full run upon reaching the park. She had leapt into the air, remaining beside him in a flying pose ever since. She looked breathtakingly angelic with her nearly translucent white gown fluttering around her knees, long pony tails trailing behind her like bright golden ribbons. Soaring blissfully along beside him as if my magic. Admiring the majestic old forest of birch, elm and oaks around her. Her eyes filled with wonder and awe, no longer fearful with the sunlight illuminating every inch of the once shadowed underbrush.

The sight of her flying never phased him, she was just a hallucination anyway. Shaking his head with a rueful grin, he took it all in stride, focusing on his much needed run around the lake.

It was late morning when he finished his run, leaving the huge park on the other side of Azabu-ku. Crossing a worn wooden plank and pole bridge and then under a red painted Torrii that acted like a gateway. Back onto the sidewalk that was adjacent to the commercial district of Azabu-Juban. His typical route ending up at a local coffee shop known as the Naked Bean, a few blocks away. A small trendy espresso cafe', that boasted the best cakes and pastries this side of Kyoto. It saw a lot of traffic from the University since rent on this side of the city was decent, and many subway stations for the Tokyo Metro were nearby. The coffee shop had sorta become a hub between the young working class and the up and coming professionals in the city.

Mamoru entered the quaint establishment through the glass entry door, the string of bells set above the door jingled merrily announcing his entrance annoyingly. All the costumer's instantly glanced up from what they were doing to notice him. With a huff he cast the thin rope of jingle bells a dirty look, moving slowly aside giving his invisible girl time to dart inside. He couldn't understand how some physic's of his world affected her while other's did not. She could not move through doors, yet no one seemed to see her but him.

He glanced around the brightly lit cafe' of thread bare floral couches and delicate armchairs, ascertaining how stifling the crowds might be. The inside of the coffee parlour looked like something right off of a New York street corner. With poorly made abstract paintings of bold washes of colour and surreal landscapes that defied all logic, mounted proudly on the beige walls. The round french cafe' tables were mostly filled already with young people, visiting or typing on laptops. Their backpacks and messenger bags draped over the chairs haphazardly. A small dais was set up at the back of the shop for weekend poetry and karaoke nights.

The Naked Bean was the embodiment of everything trendy and mainstream in modern society. Enticing the young women to use it as a meeting spot for dates and mindless conversations. In the end drawing a large group of single young men looking to hook up with those very same pretty girls. The cafe' could be quite crowded on the weekends, but bearable in the mornings during the week. So Mamoru planned his excursions into the place accordingly. He never came for the fake ambience, he honestly just loved the coffee they brewed. They took the time and care to make a really tasty cup of caffeine, he wasn't into all the trendy drinks they served. Just a nice rich columbian bean with absolutely nothing tainting it's taste. It was a nice treat when he felt stressed.

The smell of coffee was sharp and somewhat overwhelming upon entering the place. As he crossed the room towards the long glass display counter, filled with cakes and pastries. He kept his eyes down not wanting to draw any attention. The ordering counter was a thick mahogany attached on the far side. He gave the cute brunette, dressed casually in a pair of black slacks and white blouse behind the counter, a faint smile as she looked up briefly from her ipod to acknowledge him. She was an incredibly attractive college student, with huge breasts and a tiny waist.

Mamoru was instantly intimidated, stuttering out his order as if he was affected by turrets syndrome. Cursing himself inwardly at how pathetic he must look, like some silly, inexperienced middle schooler. He quickly struggled through his order of a large black coffee to go, wanting to put as much distance as he could from this embarrassing situation.

The woman barely past him a glance, moving to prepare his drink. Mamoru sighed at her casual dismissal, absently scratching the scruffy beard forming on his chin. Taking note bitterly that he didn't even warrant a second glance, it stung but what did he expect. He always seemed to look barely put together as it was. He was used to women not being even remotely attracted to him, putting no effort into how he looked what should he expect. Needing to hide the fact that his face was beet red. Casting his companion odd looks as he found her staring with a wide eyed longing at the cakes inside the display beside him.

Mamoru was perplexed, wondering if she was hungry? Did figments of his imagination require sustenance? He kept giving her human qualities, understanding that he truly wanted someone in his life right now. Yet she seemed so much more alive then a mere hallucination.

Making a hasty exit with his tall beige styrofoam cup a few minutes later, not noticing how his dream girl huffed in irritation. Casting the glass case a final look of sad yearning over her shoulder before scrambling after him, slipping through the glass door as it was closing. Mamoru's face was scrunched up in concentration as he had forgot a cardboard protector cuff and now the steamy hot beverage inside was burning his fingertips. Taking several deep scalding sips from the non-spill top, to clear some space in the container. To rest his finger's comfortable away from the heat. Exhaling, grimacing and dancing in place in pain, as the coffee burned all the way down his throat like drinking lava. He could hear faint laughter behind him, it was bright and almost musical. Turning to smirk back over his shoulder at his dream girl who seemed to be enjoying his spastic dance of burning agony.

He jumped on the first bus, making sure to pause in the doorway long enough for his little companion to scuttle on ahead of him. He made it up to the top step to find her standing uncertainly down the aisle, glancing around the smothering crowds of commuter's pressed in around her. Mamoru had the strange thought he needed to rush to her side and shield her from all the stranger's who would no doubt be brushing up against her. Only to stand in mute bafflement two steps away from her as an elderly old man merely moved straight through her! The thin surface of reality of her form suddenly disturbed. Bending and rippling like the view of the bottom of a river after a stone had been thrown into it. He moved aside as the old man shuffled past and proceeded out of the bus. All thoughts of her being alive and in need of food now washed away, as the fact that she was just a figment of his mind once more put into focus. He found a seat at the back of the bus, having to wedge himself in between two business men in rumpled suits. Having a hard time pretending she was real again. He barely paid her a glance, not wanting to be seen as strange. As she stood before him, a concerned frown gracing her angelic features wondering why he was ignoring her now.

His mind screaming at him that just this morning she had been solid, a living, breathing woman he had touched, kissed and unintentionally disrobed. How could no one see her, how did that man just walk right through her? As if she was a ghost? Now his mind was twisting into knots, over the possibilities that he was being haunted...quickly shaking his head of the notion. It was always more likely she was a part of his madness and the fact that he could see her, touch her was because she was so deeply entrenched as his new obsession. He felt like banging his head against a wall, it was to much to take.

Was she real...was she not...what the hell was she!

Finding a less then satisfying conclusion to his troubled thoughts, he headed over to Crown for his daily shift. Uncaring that he smelled of sweat and hadn't bothered to brush his teeth. He just wanted to get his work over with so he could retreat home and wallow in the fact that finally he had become totally unhinged.

"How is he today?" Unasuki inquired as she came gliding up to the Arcade's front counter. Heading over right after school since she had a half day. Not bothering to go home and change she was still dressed in her uniform. Glancing around the empty Arcade in growing concern, not noticing Mamoru anywhere.

"Hiding in the men's toilets." Motoki commented, before rising into view behind the ancient, dented metal till. That sat as an after thought at the very edge of the long glass countertop. Dressed as always in a pair of tan slacks and a white dress shirt with his trusty apron tied up around front. He wore the very same outfit everyday he worked, a chosen uniform to cut back on the amount decisions he had make.

He slammed his palm in irritation into the side of the machine, when pushing the release button didn't work yet again. He punched it a couple times for good measure, having a mini tantrum on the inanimate object.

"Drawer seized again?" Una commented lightly.

"This thing hates me!" He snarled, as Una leaned over the counter smacking it on the bottom left corner smartly before reaching over the stubborn till and pushing the very same button as Motoki. With a loud thunk the drawer popped out. To Motoki's chargin, now glaring with resentment at his little sister.

"How do you do that." He whined. His sister could be so annoying at times. Things just always worked out for her, with little effort. School, friends, even her job up at the Parlour was better. Their parents just seemed to favour her. While his father forced him to manage the family's first business. This run down old Arcade. His father never put any extra money into the place, letting things wear out and fall apart. While he was expected to be able to keep this place running and financially successful. Having to work a hell of a lot harder then his sister. Just to keep face in their family's fiercely competitive dynamic.

Some times he couldn't help but despise her.

"It just likes me, I guess." She shrugged, heading once more on her mission down the back hall.

As she neared the bathroom doors, she could hear Mamoru's deep voice in hushed conversation with someone. Curious, Una pressed her ear against the wooden door. Is was so out of character for their nearly mute employee to be talking so avidly with someone.

Mamoru was pacing under the bright lights of the open floor before the line of white porcelain sinks, embedded into a long white counter. Scrutinizing his dream girl out of the corner of his eyes. As she perched on her bum, upon the edge of the far sink as if she weighed nothing. Watching him walk back and forth with a faintly curious expression. Mostly she seemed sweetly oblivious as to why he was so agitated. Just smiling and glancing around innocently around the white on white room.

"I can't decide if your real or imagined." he mused, coming up before her. Kneeling down so they were eye to eye. He flanked her legs with his arms, pressing his palms flat against the counter. Seeking to steady himself as he was inches away from her. The sweet clean scent of summer flower's seemed to permeate around her. A light perfume that he found himself basking in, taking a slow breath as he savoured her once again. Reigning himself in, not allowing himself to be consumed by his illogical desire for a delusion. He cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Her smile brightened as he drew near, her blue eyes gleaming with an inner joy that was alien to him. With a thin lipped grimace he poked her square between the eyes. With a yelp she slid into the sink, casting him an irritated look. Mamoru smirked, it was the first time she had displayed frustration with him.

He nodded and stood up. "I guess I will just have to approach this scientificly. " returning to his pacing.

"What defines life..." He stated his question, as she made soft grumpy sounds pulling her butt back out of the sink and hoping down. He glanced back over his shoulder at her, finding curiously that her gown around her bum was wet. The fact that this reality affected her at times was the most intriguing. Was she a living creature that could phase in and out of real life at will? Or was she just in his mind?

He quickly collected himself back on his train of thought. " A living organism must be able to metabolize, grow, respond to stimuli and adapt to it's environment." Mamoru was pacing again tapping the side of his chin thoughtfully.

His little companion mimicked him, pacing in his wake and tapping her chin as well. Frowning in contemplation just as he was.

Mamoru noticed her cute antics through the line of mirrors above the sinks, chuckling softly as he plotted his second test. He abruptly stopped, feeling her small body collide with his as she wasn't as quick to react. Falling with a small cry of alarm back on her butt. With a rueful laugh he turned and knelt down before her, as she slowly sat up cradling the side of her head with a palm.

She felt so physically real! At least to him.

"Well, you respond to stimuli fine, you are just slow to adapt to sudden changes to your environment?" He smiled with amusement, then asked.

"Are you alright?" his voice was soft and gentle with genuine concern. It had been a test, the start of many he decided to do to her to determine if she was alive.

She moaned and nodded, giving him a confused almost hurt look. Mamoru's chest instantly tightened in regret.

She displayed all kinds of emotions, if he wasn't careful he might inadvertently drive her to hate him. He never wanted to hurt her, he just wanted to find out if he was still sane.

"Here let me help you up." He slowly stood taking her hand in his and gently pulling her up to her feet.

As soon as their hands touched a jolt ran through him, like an electric charge. He clenched his teeth as to not cry out, not wanting to alarm her. Since she was not reacting at all to this one sided pain.

As soon as she found her feet he released her hand, rubbing his own up and down his thigh to releave the odd tingling sensation as if he had just gripped a live wire.

Again the tell tale grumbling of her stomach echoed out to him. She giggled and clutched her belly, blushing in embarrassment.

"Your hungry." He stated, mimicking placing food in his mouth. Receiving a curt nod from her. "Ok, so how do I feed you...what do I feed you?" He debated, perplexed as to how feeding a figment of his delirium was going to work. Pondering for a bit he figured if could imagine her, he could conjure her up some pretend food too.

Offering her his empty hands, in the position of offering her something. He stared down at his barren palms, envisioning a delightful bento of rice, tuna sashimi and pickled vegetables. She stared down at his empty hands in confusion, then up at him oddly. Raising her eyebrows in question as nothing seemed to be happening besides watching him think to hard and get very red in the face with the effort.

Tired of watching him mentally fight with thin air, the veins along his temple pulsing as if he was getting close to an aneurism. She turned on her heel and headed for the bathroom door.

As if on cue a light knocking issued from the other side, breaking Mamoru's concentration.

"Mamoru-kun...are you alright in there. Who are you talking too?" Una called nervously.

"Uh..." Mamoru was at a loss as to cover up his strange behaviour. "Working." He called back lamely after a moments thought.

"Of course, cause it takes over forty-five minutes to clean the men's bathroom." Una laughed, "Seriously, who is in there with you." She pressured insistently.

His dream girl was intrigued by the voice on the other side of the door and had her ear pressed up against the wood. An very intent look upon her face, curious as to who was speaking on the other side.

"Ah, no...one. Just talking to myself. Practicing my lines for a play." He laughed back. Hoping like hell she would drop it.

Unasuki arched an eyebrow at the far fetched excuse. The cronicly shy Chiba, Mamoru enlisting for a public performance. Would be when the world was coming to an end. She didn't believe it for one second.

"You missed our appointment yesterday, so I will expect you to show up after your shift today..." she finished. "No excuses or running away this time, or I'll just follow you home." She threatened in a serious yet cheerful voice. Her footfalls quickly falling away.

Mamoru groaned and rolled his eyes. While his dream girl glanced back and forth from the wooden door to him in blank curiosity.

"Well, I can't hide in here my whole shift. I have cleaning to do. If you can wait just a little bit more. I will try and figure out what you eat in a little while." He offered, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She glanced down at his hand, then cocked her head to the side with confusion. She could feel his emotions and gauge a little about what he was saying to her. But she had no idea what he was talking about. She felt his kindness, the genuine feeling that he truly cared towards her well being. That he wished for her to be safe and happy and that he wanted to do right by her. He just didn't know how.

Mamoru opened the door, allowing her to proceed him into the short hall.

She followed him around the close to empty Arcade as he swept, the flashing lights and beeping music attracting her attention almost continuously. She was like a kid, wide eyed and amazed at every game terminal they past by. Entranced by the intro video's of every game, losing track of him to watch each animation till the end. Falling behind him several times and having to scramble to catch up, or stand lost and forlorn for a few moments, craning her neck and turning in circles to catch sight of him. As he continuously moved around the main room, not paying any attention to her in the least. Not wanting to seem odd, to Motoki. Mamoru had purposefully sought to ignore her yet again.

She grew more courageous as the hours past, growing bored of watching him sweep, mop and dust the machines. She began to explore the arcade on her own, lightly tapping buttons and playing around with joysticks. Mamoru arched a brow as he caught sight of her attempting to figure out how a racing console worked. Sitting in the bucket seat, spinning the wheel absently as she watched the scrolling landscape upon the screen.

The wheel turned, it moved! He swore on his ancestor's he wasn't imagining it, she could affect her surroundings. Then his exhilaration soured, as he began to doubt himself all over again.

Or he just envisioned the wheel turning. The fact was he couldn't never really trust what his eyes saw. The chaos that lived inside his head, made his perception of reality totally untrustworthy. With a resigned groan he continued to mop the lino. Loosing track of her again as he cleaned.

Several minutes past while he brooded, Motoki's angry grumbling in the back office finally penetrating his haze of personal frustrations. Mamoru moved leisurely towards the small room at the front of the back hall. Not wanting to look like he was rudely snooping into his boss's business. He faked that he was re-moping the hall, glancing into the normally cluttered office. To find it totally trashed, odds and ends of outdoor clothing and moldy wrappers littered every square inch of floor. Looking like a garbage bomb had gone off inside. Mamoru cringed at the mess, Motoki on a kind note was a bit disorganized. In reality the man lived is life on the edge of chaos. He filing system consisted of several piles of file folder's discarded around the office, nothing ever seemed to find it's way back into any proper order. It didn't surprise him that Motoki had lost something.

"Were is it..." The blonde vented by rummaging with new vigour through another locker. The small set of lockers for employee's stood on the far end of the office, none were ever used by anyone but Motoki. Just another storage device to horde his forgotten belongings. Tossing a scarf, a pair of grey worn thin sneaker's and a dirty, dented metal bento box over his head. They landed in the doorway, the bento bouncing off the wooden frame with a clang.

"Uhm...Motoki-san?" Mamoru sought a quiet intervention, knowing if the man created anymore of a mess. He would end up having to help him clean and reorganize the office. Which meant he would have to stay longer today.

"I skipped breakfast this morning cause I slept in..cause I was up late studying for a mid-term." He sounded like some whining child seeking sympathy.

Mamoru raised an eyebrow incredulously knowing the man better. He was the high king of procrastination. He doubted he was studying late into the night. More then likely he was obsessed with a new video game and refused to go to sleep when he should have.

"Look, I am starving...man. I was looking forward to my bento lunch all morning!" He refused to confess, his voice lowering and growing more agitated.

"Perhaps you took it to the front desk?" He offered, casting a mournful look around the disaster the office was in. Brushing a hand nervously through his hair.

Motoki was naturally kinda lazy and sloth like, about this office. Leaving things scattered about and never really putting anything away. Which made Mamoru never want to see the man's apartment. He shuttered in revulsion just thinking about how much of a disaster Motoki's living area might be. With molding food hiding under the furniture and various other clutter piled up upon the floor.

Mamoru on the other hand was somewhat over organized, a tactic to maintain a bit of order in his life. He always made sure everything he owned had it's own place and was were it should be before bed. He admitted he had developed OCD, to cope with his psychosis. He found the fact bitterly funny, he had cultivated a disorder to help deal with another disorder.

He never used his locker inside the office, refusing to enter the disgusting confines of paper chaos and garbage Motoki kept it in. Just seeing it everyday was a struggle, he couldn't handle the mess. It made him jittery and itching all over, so he avoided this room like the plague.

Motoki pushed past him and charged back to the front counter. Determined to find his lunch, hoping like hell he had just misplaced it up front. Mamoru watched him disappear behind the counter, only to reappear even more frazzled then before. Starting to toss things off the shelves under the counter with a clattering vengeance. Having an all out man-trum, complete with swearing and frustrated tears glistening in his hazel eyes.

"Oh...kami..." Mamoru moaned, it was going to be a long shift.

Delighted bursts of happy sounds echoed to him from the men's bathroom. Drawing his attention from Motoki's childish display to the conundrum as to what happened to his Dream girl. Ducking into the bathroom he was only mildly surprised to find her sitting cross legged in the back corner of the urinal alcove. Happily devouring Motoki's nearly empty bento, she must have come across it during her explorations he surmised. She had flecks of rice decorating each cute little cheek, the man's chop sticks poised near her open mouth with a piece of sushi dangling there. She smiled broadly at him before popping the morsel into her mouth. Chewing slowly, relishing every sensation, every subtle flavour of the roll.

"Well, that answer's what you eat." He sweat dropped and sulked out of the room. Well, that proved she was alive! He's joy was tempered though. He would have to take the blame for eating Motoki's lunch. He could not explain away that his delusion had ate his bosses food, without sounding like a total nut job. He was a nut job though...but the whole world didn't need to know that.

The afternoon soon spiralled from annoyingly unbearable to total humiliation hell! After having to subjugate himself by taking the blame for eating the man's lunch. He had to help him clean up and endure listening to him bemoan his slow starvation for hours on end. While trying valiantly to hold his tongue and maintain a fake sympathy. Motoki was making him feel absolutely horrible, never easing up on him one bit. It was like his world was ending just because he was hungry. As he constantly threw snide comments concerning thievery and lack of respect for ones superior's towards him. It was a slow torture, after a couple hours of it he debated how painful it would be to rip his ears off. He doubted the pain of self mutilation would hold a candle to having to listen to a grown man whimper and whine like a disgruntled child for hours. Finally salvation came, as Unasuki had sent the delivery boy over with a hamburger and fries after enduring a long woe is me conversation over the phone with him. Only after the man had ate did his mood improve, but it was to late. Mamoru was now so uncomfortable and irritated by him he just wanted to get some space.

While his dream girl had spent the rest of the afternoon watching him try and work. while fuming and giving Motoki dirty looks behind his back. Offering Mamoru warm contented smiles every time he glanced her way. Not picking up on the ceaseless if subtle accusations of immoral behaviour he was enduring from his boss thanks to her thievery.

Finally with the sun was setting into the landscape of towers, he was free. The Arcade was just starting to fill up with the after school crowd and Mamoru was thankful to get out of there.

Jogging out of the Arcade into the faint twilight street, heading towards his customary bus stop at the end of the block. The coming night was crisp, the cool temperature of the day sinking towards a bitter cold. Not prepared for the colder temperatures, Mamoru zipped up his thin black track jacket in a vain attempt to keep warm. Tucking his bare hands under his armpits and hunching forward. He was a lean, muscular man with very little body fat so he got cold easily. Thankful at least to be wearing his black track jacket, a long sleeve shirt and sweats. It was modest protection against the blustery weather, but good enough to see him home.

Getting trapped at a Don't walk sign on the corner across from Fruits Parlour Crown. He had no idea what or whom was waiting for him on the other side. Unasuki was prepared tonight, having forced Motoki to give her Mamoru's work schedule for the rest of the week. Blackmailing him with food from the Parlour earlier today, since he was currently broke and couldn't afford take out. Dressed in the cheerful yellow dress, of the Parlour's uniform. The flowing mini skirt barely covering her thighs. Goose flesh was sprinkled up her bare legs, as she hopped on her toes to keep warm. The thin dress was not suitable for the crisp wind outside and she felt miserably cold. The white apron tied up at her back, snapped and tossed around her hips. The writing pad and pen hidden in the front pouch banging against her hip, only adding to her misery.

She had been hanging out on the outer front stairwell since his shift ended ten minutes ago. Scanning the street ahead from her position up on the second story of the mini mall. Like a spider lurking in the shadows, waiting with infinite patience for her prey. She caught sight of Mamoru preparing to cross the intersection and skipped down the steps intent on snatching him off the street. He weaved into the foot traffic, his movements concise and measured. As if everything he did was well planned and well thought out, even his pace. Catching sight of her, non-nonchalantly leaning against the metal pole of the intersections traffic light. His stormy blue grey eyes flying wide in alarm, his heart lurching into his throat at the impending awkward confrontation.

He hadn't the patience for some well meaning but annoying intrusion into his private life or the inclination to fall into her supposed trap. So just like the night before he cut and run, dashing back through the crowds to the far side of the street. Just in time to lunge into the same transit bus pulling away from the street corner.

As he sat down with a sigh of relief, he caught sight of Una out the window, shaking her fist at him mouthing curses that he had out maneuvered her yet again. Mamoru thumped his head against the back of his seat in exhaustion. Rolling his head to the side to finally acknowledge his dream girl with a small smile. Finding her once again absent.

Alarmed he shot to his feet, his heart hammering in his chest threatening to burst from his rib cage in fear. Scanning the crowded bus in a panic with no sign of her. Reviewing patheticly the last few minutes, so certain she had been right beside him the whole time. Until he abruptly changed direction and ran full speed back across the street!

"Oh...god..." he breathed, a cold clammy sweat bathing his body. His knee's trembling and ready to go out as terror latched onto his heart. He'd lost her...

Unasuki watched the bus pull away with a sense of failure falling over her. On Sunday, Mamoru would be going to the Cemetery all alone like he did every year. She knew from their brief conversations that he would find it very difficult. She did not want him to go through that horrible day all by himself again.

"Why won't you let me in?" she sniffled. With a sigh of regret she shuffled her feet back towards the glass facade of the mini mall. Not perceiving in any way the silent, slightly scared companion that had latched onto her.

The golden haired apparition floated along side Unasuki, having lost her true anchor to this world. She felt lost and very alone. So she followed the closest link she had to him, this young woman who desperately wanted to talk to him. Keeping her spirits up, not wanting to give into her fear. Trusting somewhat blindly that he would return for her. She just had to be patient and wait, he would find her again. Trailing in Unasuki's wake, casting worried looks over her shoulder in the same direction the bus had gone.

Mamoru flew off the bus at it's next stop, his mind reeling with new somewhat frightening possibilities. The fact that she just didn't appeared like a spectre where ever he was, that he could actually loose her was just another piece to the puzzle of her existence. She was alive! He had to come to grips with the fact that she wasn't imagined.

Not knowing what to do or even how to call out to her, having never found out her name or even had a true conversation with her. He merely moved on instinct. Flying full speed back down the street, towards the last place he had seen her. The huge intersection before Fruits Parlour Crown. Twisting and dodging through the foot traffic, not bothering to even apologize to the unlucky pedestrian's he inadvertently shoved aside or merely trampled over.

Full night had descended by the time he got back, having run so hard for such an extended period. He was panting and huffing and completely out of breath. Feeling dizzy and near collapse he leaned against the very same traffic sign Unasuki had been. He was in a complete state of panic now, his body shivering with pent up emotions, his body aching with tension. Tight and vibrating like a rubber band about to snap. Feeling like he wanted to explode in every direction all at once. His bleak mind taunting him with self loathing for not waiting for her, for not watching for her. He felt like the lowest, uncaring bastard in the universe. She was his...that intimate connection he felt toward her, was something akin to a sense of ownership but far more intense.

She was more then just some long buried piece of him, or some whimsical creation of his lunacy... but something far more profound. A living being that only he could perceive, he didn't understand her true purpose to being in his life. But she was alive and she was his...

He needed to find her...but how?

Then as if some unseen force guided his head, he turned drunkenly to face the upper glass windows of the Fruit's Parlour high above the street. Finding to his utter astonishment within the warm atmosphere, his girl gliding silently behind Unasuki as she tended to the front booths within the restaurant.

He was sprinting for the stairs at a blinding speed, both exhilaration and insurmountable gratitude coursing through him. The fates that be, had granted him yet another chance. He wasn't going to squander it! This time he was going to take proper care of her.

Scrambling up the steps and bursting through the front door like a bullet shot from a gun. The glass door slammed open announcing his entrance quite loudly.

His girl spun around in fright by the sudden abrupt sound of someone exploding into the cafe'. As if she was expecting to be under some kind of attack. Her long golden tails whipping in an wide arc around her bare shoulder's. Her startled, somewhat frightened face softening into thankful tears as she saw him. Standing before the glass front door, heaving for breath and locking his intense gaze with her's. His expression was flat, a stern yet thankful warmth held in his eyes only, as he looked at her. His body still humming with the left over adrenaline from his panic, now trembling in both anticipation and relief as she ran for him. Her face bright, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Leaping upon him and wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. He could feel her fierce heart beat against his chest, matching the rapid fire beating of his own heart.

Mamoru sighed and wrapped his own arms around her, ducking his head into the nape of her neck. Breathing her in, letting her naturally sweet perfume overtake him. She was so real to him in this moment, her small body warm and soft in all the right places. Yielding willingly to his demands of holding her far to tight. Melding herself against him so perfectly he never wanted to let go.

"I told you to never leave my side." He chastised in a breathless whisper against her ear.

She replied with a whimpered moan of assent, her full pouting lips pressing lightly like the fluttering wings of a butterfly against his neck. As she nodded her head into the underside of his chin.

The barest touch of her sent the most delicious sensations of arousal through out his body. Making him shiver uncontrollably. Mamoru knew his affection was on display before the patrons of the restaurant. Hugging thin air as he was, he didn't need to show the obvious tenting in his sweats as well. He quickly released her, setting her down and giving her a faint apologetic smile before turning his back on her. Feinting interest in the plain wooden front counter, idly picking up a paper menu from a glass holder near the flat screen style till.

She stared at him quizzically, finally taking note of the strange stares he was receiving from the costumer's scattered around the cafe'. Feeling his obvious embarrassment over their affection in public.

She humbly clasped her hands before her, becoming as she was before his patient and silent shadow.

"Hey, there Chiba-san. Changed your mind then, I figured you'd be half way to Kanto by now. " Unasuki laughed, parading almost smugly in front of him behind the counter. She bit down on her anger at being cast aside twice by him. Attempting to find some understanding about how difficult being social was for him.

"Ah...yeah. I guess. I am kinda hungry though." He started uncertainly.

"I bet." She smiled back, "Eating my poor brothers lunch wasn't enough for you today?" She jabbed with good natured humour.

Mamoru chuckled politely back. "Yeah..." He added, waiting impatiently for her to guide him to a table.

She took the hint of his sudden silence and led him to a shadowed back booth near the kitchen knowing he liked to be as far away from people as he could.

"Alright, I'll be right back. You figure out what you want." She stated, cheerfully.

Mamoru settled himself down, finding with warm amusement his invisible companion had slid in beside him on the same bench.

When he cast her a knowing smirk, over her obvious need to stay close to him now. She merely sighed and blushed, keeping her eyes averted to the highly polished table.

"Well that was quite a scare then." He leaned into her, whispering meaningfully in her ear.

She turned and smiled happily, if a bit obliviously at his words.

"You haven't said a single word to me." Mamoru mused, feinting interest in his menu again. Seeking to conceal his conversation with nothing.

She cocked her head in confusion, chewing absently on her lower lip as her brow furrowed. She desperately wished to understand what he was saying, knowing he was trying to communicate to her. But her mind was a total blank, his voice echoing to her as if trapped behind a barrier of water.

"Well, I guess I haven't even introduced myself yet. That's kinda rude..." Mamoru observed, his cheeks flaring with shame. What ever she was, dream or alive. He wasn't going to ignore her, or treat her as a mere figment of his imagination. He felt he needed to take care of her, she had appeared to him, came to him. She was his responsibility from now on, or until she decided to leave.

"Chiba, Mamoru at your service my lady." He offered her his hand with a quirky half smile.

She giggled and took his hand understanding that gesture. Once again the charge of energy rippled up his arm like a lightening bolt. Sending all his nerves on edge, his skin feeling heated as if the intensity of the summer sun was bathing his now over sensitive skin.

With a grimace he pulled his hand out of her grasp needing a reprieve from the odd itchy yet tingling sensation before his arm went completely numb.

She never seemed to notice, bouncing on her bum with a building excitement he couldn't understand.

"And your name?" He inquired when she didn't respond. His query interrupted as Una breezed into the booth on the other side. Slapping her half empty box of chocolates on the table in accusation, she bluntly shoved them at him with a very disgruntled scowl on her face.

Mamoru glanced down at the near empty box with slight confusion tinged with growing discomfort. That shortly turned into a grimace knowing by Unasuki's less then trilled expression he was about to get a verbal tongue lashing for cutting out on her yesterday and nearly today as well.

"It's not very nice to make promises and not keep them." She pouted.

Mamoru sighed heavily, a long sad sound of a man who felt on trail.

"If I gain weight and don't fit into my Valentines dress, I will blame you. Chiba-san." She stated crossly, giving him a playful thin lipped smile.

"Gomen." He mumbled.

"Yeah, well you can apologize properly another time." She stated, leaning in over the table as he resolutely reached for a chocolate ready to do his duty.

He popped it in his mouth and chewed thoroughly, rolling the creamy, sweet melting substance all around his tongue relishing the taste.

"Very good. " He commented honestly a few moments later when he had cleaned his mouth up with his tongue.

"I know! I ate half the box all by myself last night!" Una sighed, leaning back against the bench. Staring at him bitterly, her eyes soon softening into something mournful.

Mamoru caught the sympathetic look in her hazel green eyes, catching on to the double meaning of this little social call.

"Chiba-san..." she started softly. "I know D-Day's this weekend and that it's going to be tough on you." She spoke in a hushed private tone, leaning over the table to keep their conversation contained.

Mamoru rolled his eyes and groaned regretting telling her and Motoki about his sad past. It had been a moment of weakness months back, in which all three of them had gotten locked in the Arcades back storage room during a black out. That twenty-four hours together being scared and uncertain if they were going to survive the next few hours. With only a radio to report what was happening outside, as riots and theft were running rampant in the streets. Had unintentionally bonded them, created a friendship that had not been there before. They had all shared a bit of themselves that night, growing marginally closer. Now Una, naturally wanted more. Something he was very reluctant to give.

"You have been more aloof and quiet then ever, so I know it's bothering you." She finished, searching his eyes for confirmation.

This was not a discussion he wanted to have. Glancing around the busy restaurant searching the patrons and fellow waitress's for salvation. Finding none of the customer's needed her, all happily eating, the other waitresses able to handle the seated number's easily. Una had been prepared for him, making sure her little heart felt interrogation would not be interrupted.

With a reluctancy he returned his gaze back to her. Finding her eyes glazed with hurt as he kept his peace. Refusing to open up to her, knowing he was casting off her concern. His cold, silence was humiliating her.

"I wish you would tell me about it. I'm your friend and I want to help. " She offered, an awkwardness falling between them in his continued silence. But she wasn't one to give up, she worked towards her goals almost doggedly.

"What 'it' are you talking about." He cocked his head in question, giving her a laughing smile. Seeking to side step the pointed question.

"You seem far to sad, lately." She added, leaning back into the bench obviously pouting over how Mamoru was keeping her shut out.

"It's nothing, Furuhata-san." Mamoru waved off her concern with a fake smile.

"Seriously...we have been friends for nearly a year and you can't even feel comfortable enough to call me by my first name?" She was genuinely hurt now, feeling like he just didn't want her friendship at all.

"I mean you call my brother by his name...why not me?" She added, her eyes glazing over again. "I thought our relationship was closer."

Mamoru sighed, glancing beside him for support. Finding his girl watching them both with an intent stare. Taking in every word, every nuance of their body language desperately trying to understand what they were talking about.

"I guess I just don't feel comfortable with girls." He shrugged. "But be patient with me, I'll get there." He offered, lieing easily with his most charming smile. That turned out to look weak and strained under his layer of scruffy facial hair.

Unasuki grunted.

"I am naturally always kinda down, you don't need to worry about me. I'm a gloomy sorta person." He shrugged, wanting to lighten his chronic depression somewhat. "In many ways your better off not getting to close to me."

"Well, thats just horrible." She huffed, giving him a dissatisfied look. "You need to get out more, find the fun in life." she nodded, a new mission forming in her mind. Mamoru was going to become her new project, she would show him what wonderful things life with people had to offer. A conspiring smile pulling on the corner's of her mouth, that was having Mamoru suddenly very nervous.

"Well, if there isn't anything else. I should be heading home. " He felt he needed to escape now, while he could. Unasuki was a bit of a busy body and very pushy, he knew if he didn't get away like now! She would end up wrangling him into something he truly didn't want to be a part of.

"Can I come with you on Sunday?" She asked plaintively, so forthright with her request it was startling. As he scrambled out of the bench, his muscles twitching with a need to race away from her.

Her pained, fragile sounding voice stopped him in his tracks.

"It's not really a big deal. It's just a ritual I do every year is all." he responded, ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. Truly not wanting company at his parents graves.  
"Well, I still want to be there. " she added, confronting by his blank, unimpressed stare.

"If that's ok?" Her voice wavered slightly at his continued silence. Feeling very nervous, not knowing what to do with her hands. She gripped the side of the bench hard, the leather squeaking under her finger's as they curled tightly around the edge.

"I...don't really..." he began to confess now rubbing the back of his neck and averting his eyes to the floor.

"You don't have to be alone anymore!" She wailed, "I'm your friend...right?" She was near tears now, pleading with him to let her in.

"Yeah...I guess..." He muttered, keeping his eyes downward as if intrigued by his shoes. Not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes.

"So I want to be there for you, I'll stay out of the way I promise. I just want to be your friend and friends support one another during tough times. " She was pleading now, trying to convince him that having her around wouldn't be just a nuisance.

Mamoru grimaced then slowly nodded, before abruptly turning on his heel and walking out of the restaurant. His gait was swift but not rushed, not wanting to make a spectacle of himself anymore then he had previous. He knew Una's near breakdown at the end was drawing attention. They looked like a couple breaking up. With her near tears and him retreating away.

He sighed in both frustration and resignation. Una meant well, she was a good person. She was just a bit to much for him sometimes. But maybe having her around wouldn't be so bad...at least her company should be brief. Visit his parents graves, leave his offering and then leave.

With a crisp nod of approval he headed down the street, his dream girl once again hovering behind him in that same flying pose as she sought to keep up with his quick stride. His mind falling back on strange thoughts that had been plaguing him all day. He was just as non-exisitent to most people, just like his dream girl. Moving through life without any connections to others, a ghost easily forgotten. Unable to leave any kind of impression on anyone he met. Una was the first person in a very long time who sought out his company. And he wanted nothing to do with her company. Just wanting to return to his apartment and hide like he had done for countless years. Now he was left wondering what truly was the absence of living? Not being seen by other's when obviously you were there, or choosing to continue to be unseen?


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the review Sere: I am glad you find this story interesting. Here's your update!

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**Delirium**

Chapter three:Dreams of the Dead

Mamoru spent the remainder of the evening happily locked away in his apartment, he had a long shower washing away all the stress and dirt of the day. Wrapped a soft white towel around his waist and proceeded to shave his now out of control hair upon his face. Reclaiming some semblance of order to his face. Looking in the mirror, he turned his now smooth chin back and forth taking note of how long and wild his hair had gotten. Perhaps tomorrow he would get a hair cut, brushing some long hair in irritation out of his deep blue eyes. Buy a few pieces of decent clothes try and improve his wardrobe a bit. He had no interest in looking good for himself, but the girl in his life might feel embarrassed to be seen with such a poorly dressed, scruffy looking man. He couldn't believe he had gone out in public in such a sad state. It was like as soon as he came to grips that he no longer wanted to be a ghost in his own life. His priorities began to change. He wanted to look good not just for her but for himself as well.

Surveying the finished product with satisfaction. He had a strong jaw and aristocratic good looks. With smoky blue eyes that were currently staring back at him mockingly.

"What am I thinking?" He breathed, brushing his hands through his hair. The wet strands parting and spiking into a tousled, wind blown look. The thought of no longer blending in, of attracting the attention of others even a little was kinda scary. But perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, at first he knew Motoki and Una would be surprised to see him putting in more effort. Then hopefully things would just fade back to normal. He was tried of his life in ambiguity...he wanted more now.

It was like his dream girls pressence had spurned him to seek more from this life. With a rueful smirk he left the bathroom and padded down the hall and across the living room in nothing but his towel.

His girl had been sprawled out on his red bean bag, tapping her fingertips together over her head in some silent rhythm all her own. His appearance got her attention instantly, she sat up to attention her lovely blue eyes widening in both surprise and approval at what she saw. A long lean torso, with a powerful looking chest nearly hairless, with rock hard abs that spoke of a very athletic lifestyle. Her eyes receded down towards the towel's folded rim, hanging loosely around his hips. Which were square but strong, his toned butt hidden beneath the towel hanging curtain. He had a soft dusting of black hair just below his belly button. His arms were long and well muscular along with very toned almost hairless legs. The sight of him so fresh and clean had butterflies fluttering in her belly instantly. The attraction tables had turned and now it was her appreciating his body. Strange, pleasant feelings were brewing inside of her as she gazed at his powerful form. A warmth washing over the very core of her, expanding from her heart and heating her skin to a full blush. These emotions were new to her, yet frightening to feel. Swallowing several times she was unable to pull her riveted gaze away from his alluringly powerful body, until he disappeared into his room. Finally able to take a breath, she flopped backward on the bean bag chair her whole body buzzing as if electrified. Giggling softly in delight at the pleasurable feelings admiring his half naked body had sent coursing through her.

Mamoru took no notice of her slack jawed awe over him, disappearing into his bedroom to find something comfortable to wear. Reappearing several minutes later in a pair of grey and blue plaid sleep pants and a white t-shirt. He grabbed a book from a nearby shelf and stretched himself out on the couch, both his mind and body relaxing.

His girl watched him get comfortable, debating if it would be alright to join him. As his arm lifted and stretched out over the back of the couch she took that as an invitation. Bounding over to the couch and tucking her legs up beside her. He paid her a warm look, before being drawn back to the pages of his book. She remained sitting close, studying him, absorbing every nuance of his handsome face. Every detail of his sinewy body hidden beneath his clothes. His sudden clean shaven look drawing her curiosity, attracting her to him even more solidly. Before she had only seen the beautiful soul that lay beneath the scruffy, grungy exterior. Now she was honoured to see that the power and strength of his inner self could clearly be seen in his gorgeous good looks as well.

Like an onion the grim, hardened outer layer's he had used as a shield against the world. Was slowly being pulling back to reveal to her all the beautiful wonder's that lay beneath.

She wondered what other treasures lay within him, what more he could show her as they grew closer together.

Happily absorbed in one of his favourite novels, Mamoru only vaguely noticed her slowly inching closer to him. He had an eclectic taste in reading material, ranging from highly intellectual books that broadened his thinking to the main stream fluff of fantasy and sci-fi, to simple entertainments like graphic novels. To the more erotic porn magazines and doujinshi he had hidden in his bedroom closet. He didn't own a television never having much use for one, reading stimulated him enough to pass the hours. He worried that the images on the T.V might affect his hallucinations, make them worse or more convoluted. He didn't need any more things complicating his life.

His girl had curled up like a contented cat beside him on the couch, with her head resting in his lap. He had been absently playing his finger's through the golden silk strands of one of her long tails. Listening to the soft, approving sounds she made as his gentle caress, drew down from a now lose bun. Along her shoulder and down her arm, tracing his fingers feather light upon her skin as he combed through her hair. His constant, steady touch seemed to be lulling her to sleep. She was staring out at the picture window, her gaze lost to the reflecting glow of the street lamps below and sparkling blanket of star's twinkling between the towers across the street.

Her pressence once again calming him like nothing else could. Making him feel completely at ease, all the anxieties that plagued him fading away. The evening was peaceful, comforting in it's simplicity.  
Mamoru couldn't ask for a more perfect night then this. He glanced down to his lap, smiling at her fondly. She turned upward to look at him, a fond smile of her own gracing her delicate features. Before returning to her staring contest with the window.

"You know you never did tell me your name?" He broke the stillness of the apartment with his question. Setting his book down beside him on the leather cushion.

She craned her neck, staring up at him quizzically again.

"I am starting to believe you don't understand a word I say." He sighed, gliding his fingertips down one side of her parted bangs. Brushing her long fringe away from one pure crystal blue eye in an almost loving gesture.

"Well, you need a name." He huffed, as she sat up on her knees. Paying him her absolute full attention.

"Mamoru." He gestured to himself. Then placed a hand to her breast just above her beautiful breasts. She blushed instantly as he touched her so intimately. He stalled then, with his hand pressed firmly against her bare skin. Her nearly translucent dress truly hid nothing, he could so clearly see her milky white skin beneath and those perfect little nipples. She always looked to damn alluring, all sweet innocence, with an erotic undercurrent that drove him nuts.

He sighed and struggled with his once buried libido. Pulling his hand away from her chest to cup her cheek instead.

"How about...Utsukushii Yume." He smiled thinking it over. "It means beautiful dream. Which is what you are to me." His eyes were like a warm balm, the light caress of his hand upon her face sending shivers through out her small body. At first she didn't know how to respond, mutely blinking up at him. Before a small smile of vague understanding graced her face.

"Yume for short..." He chuckled, resisting the urge to suddenly kiss her again. He cleared his throat, studiously pulling his eyes away from her. Heading for the kitchen to distract himself and regain control of his rapidly beating heart. The intimate moments they shared could be far to intense for him to handle.

"Are you hungry?" he questioned, ducking his head into the fridge to confront how empty and sad the inside looked. He would have to seriously buy some groceries tomorrow, with his new house guest he needed to stock up on food.

Yume nodded enthusiasticly, hoping to her feet. The butterflies she had felt in her stomach yet again easing as he had moved away. Leaving her with a warm, sweet feeling inside that left her relaxed and somewhat dizzy. He affected her on so many different levels, it was as exciting as it was scary to her. She had no memories of who she was or where she came from. It was like she had just woken up in that forest and he was there. He had become the whole of her universe, an anchor that grounded her and gave her comfort. She felt tied to him like some universal thread beyond her comprehension had knotted her soul to his.

As Mamoru began a thorough scavenging of his fridge and cupboards, attempting to scrounge up enough food for an edible meal. Yume wandered away to explore the last room in his apartment she had not seen yet...his bedroom.

Mamoru was so busy preparing what he could find, he never noticed her absence right away. As he finally placed two steaming styrofoam cups of instant ramen on the island he took note with sudden dread she was out of sight again. Which from retrospect of what happened today was not a good sign.

"Yume!" he called, his voice sounding some what panicky. Moving out of the galley style kitchen searching for her, he caught sight of golden streamer's of hair in the far corner of his room. Dashing for the open doorway, he found to his utter modification. That she had found his porn collection, having dragged the various shoe boxes out of the deep recesses of the closet. Now she had a whole assortment of lewd images of naked girls surrounding her. Sitting like an erotic budding flower in her thin silk gown, that he could almost see through in the right light. Her sweet beauty blossoming amid the scattered pedal's of sex magazines and hentai doujinshi. Just staring down wide eyed and unblinking at the compromising positions of the various models. He could see how her eyes had darkened with a strange aroused contemplation, a tiny frown upon her pouting lips, her brow creasing as she sought to understand why these books were tucked away so securely.

"oh...just kill me now..." He prayed bitterly.

Mamoru felt uncomfortably hot, like his whole body seemed to be on fire, sweat beading like rain over every square inch of him. As he cringed in further shame, when she tentatively picked up a magazine with her small dainty hands. Cocking her head to the side in mild confusion as she confronted a woman in only a very small red scottish plaid mini skirt. Bending over her knees and squeezing her bare breasts between her elbows. Her long black hair framing the back of her nude torso like a cape. Her dark eyes looking invitingly towards her, with an unmistakable yearning for something.

A flash of heat graced her cheeks as she began to feel those same butterflies in her stomach that Mamoru created when he was to close. When she could feel the heat of him, the gentle earthy scent of his body and warm breath upon her own skin.

Swallowing nervously as she became entranced by the half naked model on the page. These feelings were as unsettling as they were enjoyable, it was a strange mixture of sensations that sent her mind buzzing in a haze of euphoria and confusion.

With a strangled cry he stumbled and lunged for the magazine, not wanting to endure anymore humiliation. His frantic movement and the scattered magazines proved to be his undoing. One misplaced foot unintentionally slipped on a splayed magazine, going out sideways as he cried in alarm. Falling atop her as she too cried out, his falling body forcing her onto her back, on top of the magazines. With a groan of pain both mental and physical, he slowly recovered enough to hover over her. Staring down at her pleading for forgiveness. "Gomen...Yume..." He mumbled, his face as red as a flare.

Finding with fond amusement that she was blushing just as mightily beneath him. Her hands curled up around her ears, legs spread apart were his knee had invaded when he fell. His knee just brushing against her core, the thin fabric of her dress the only thing protecting her maidenhood.

His apology fell abruptly silent as he was once more compelled to take in every inch of her physical perfection. She was such an exquisitely erotic creature, as if she had been created for the purpose of luring men. The soft rise and fall of her breasts was enough to draw a very pleasing reaction deep in his groin. His soulful blue eyes darkening with unmistakable lust, the fierceness in his gaze over her, once again sending her body over the edge. Her insides quivering with an unknown need, her head feeling light, as a very pleasant sensation coursed through her. Trembling under him,locking her gaze upon his face. Watching the sensual emotions passing over his face as he admired her.

Every inch of her body he examined began to tingle as if his very gaze was a caress in itself. Her breath had grown rapid and shallow as his eyes finally drew back upward to stare into her own eyes. Finding them shimmering, unafraid yet uncertain of what was to come next.

Mamoru felt his body shiver uncontrollably as he began to drown within the gorgeous pools of her clear blue eyes. Eyes so bright and luminous it reminded him of the lazy warmth of the Summer Sky.

"Gomen ni sai..." He breathed, his arms flanking her head now trembling and near collapse. His lower Mamoru was rigid and straining in his pants, making him uncomfortable and obviously very nervous. With incredible force of will he clamped down on his need to kiss her, resurrecting all his restraint to quell the craving to feel her body against his again. Groaning with the very acute pain of it, pulling himself off of her. He stood if a bit uncertainly, giving her enough space to sit up only. She did so, bashfully casting her head aside her cheeks still painted a very bright pink. Suddenly feeling shameful of her curiosity. Sensing the depth of his embarrassment over her unearthing these erotic images from his closet. Averting her eyes, blushing even deeper as her eyes once more inadvertently traced over the racy pictures littering the floor.

"You shouldn't be looking at these." He started, a bit more harshly then he intended. Quickly gathering them all up off the floor and hastily shoving them back into their shoe boxes.

"There is some food waiting for you outside." He stated, keeping his back to her as to conceal his ever increasing blush forming on his own face. His face felt like it was on fire he needed a bit of space to cool down. Keeping his face hidden in the closet, as he replaced the boxes stiffly back into their hiding place under a stack of sweater's on a low shelf. That sat behind all the shirts hanging in his closet. Taking long measured breaths attempting to calm his heart and cool his heated skin.

He couldn't think of a worse situation to be trapped in with her. It was a shame unlike any he had ever felt, as if his most embarrassing secret at be revealed.

Yume merely nodded taking her leave, understanding enough to know he needed a few minutes to himself. Her discovery had hurt him deeply, she needed to apologize but she couldn't remember how? Her soft footfalls faded away, taking the tension in the room with her.

Mamoru felt like climbing into a hole now and never coming out. He was a red blooded young man, he shouldn't feel this embarrassed about owning porn? But Yume was different, she wasn't just some girl off the street he might never see again. She meant the world to him, in just a short while. The unflattering things she must think of him now, were stabbing him straight in the chest.

Lewd...Dirty...Pervert.

All those horrible descriptions were scathingly brutal to hear, even just inside his own mind.

Clenching his teeth tight, he stormed into the closet ripping a shoe box off it's shelf, intent on throwing them all out. Yet his hands were shaking as he gripped the cardboard edge of the box, unable to fully pull the box out. He loved those books...as much as he adored all his more accepted novels. True they weren't exactly the most intellectual reading material but he still enjoyed them. All be it in a shallow self pleasuring way, but still they made him happy. With how difficult his life had been and would probably continue to be. Could he seriously give up a bit of happiness over this unbearable humiliation?

With a small grunt he rapped the box if a bit ruefully with a knuckle, before leaving his bedroom as well. He needed to act cool, unconcerned about what happened. Things would smooth over in time...at least he hoped like hell they would. He was greatly worried the pleasant ease of their relationship would be forever tainted by this. Creating a uncomfortable sexual tension between them, which due to his recent behaviour with her might happen anyway. He chuckled and shook his head, never having been in this territory of attraction and desire with another person he was treading onto dangerous ground...he knew it.

As he entered the living room he found her hovering over the island, loud sucking sounds of her consuming her noodles greeting his ears. It was the rudest, most disgusting sounds he had ever heard. All thoughts of her as a demure lady completely obliterated by how impolite she was over her food. He couldn't help but smile, finding with relief she also had some less then desirable traits. As he drew near she turned to greet him. Innocently showing him her food stained cheeks and chin dripping with clear broth. Mamoru at that point broke into a full out fit of gleeful laughter.

She was a mess, like a little kid just learning to eat. But also still extremely cute in how she seemed to just enjoy the food, with out any pretence or sense of decorum.

She was confused by his laughter, returning to finish her meal with a shrug. Once Mamoru gathered control of himself he gave her hair atop her head a fond ruffle before clasping his own cup of noodles.

Finding in shock that it was empty, glancing around the back counter's he found his plate of bean buns was also gone. Only some crumbs remained. It had only been a couple minutes while he had been in the bedroom fighting with himself...yet she had consumed every morsel of food.

"I am definitely going to have stock up on food tomorrow." he surmised with a surprised shake of his head.

"Go-men..." She uttered uncertainly, glancing around at the meals remains. Catching on to late that this food had been for two. He had used that very same word with her many times today, always she felt both shame and a deep sense of seeking forgiveness. So she concluded that this word meant an apology.

Mamoru was shocked at first, but a slow smile of approval spread over his face.

"Not to worry. I wasn't all that hungry anyway." he lied, she returned his modest smile with a reluctant acceptance. As his stomach rumbled in complaint, her frown returned.

"Oh..." she breathed in remorse, her eyes glistening with tears as she stared mournfully at his stomach.

"Wonderful..." He rolled his eyes bitterly. His body betraying him and making her feel bad. If his belly had been a guy he would have beaten the crap out of him for hurting her.

Chivalry was not dead in concerns to him, he no longer saw her as a delusion but a living person. A strange invisible person that only he could see, but alive none the less. So he sought to give her his bed and take the couch.

She followed his instructions obediently, now dressed in one of his overly large white t-shirts. He had wanted to her to wear something more modest until he could track down some better clothes for her. Standing before him for inspection before the bed, the shirt hanging comfortably off her like a nightgown, drooping off one slender shoulder constantly. Casting him slightly confused looks not understanding what he wanted from her, as he pointed to the bed, drawing and adjusting the blankets. As she curled up on the sheeted mattress, resting her head lightly upon the pillow. He took her nervousness in stride, smiling comfortingly. Seeking to disarm her rising mistrust of his intentions. She had every right to believe he was going to pounce upon her at any time and seek to have his way with her. Instead he merely pulled the blankets over her, tucking her into bed in a very soothing and paternal manner. Before grabbing the spare pillow from beside her and an extra blanket from the closet.

"Goodnight, Yume. Sweet dreams." He called softly, turning out the light and exiting the room. Leaving her staring dumbstruck at him from her little cotton cocoon of blankets. Mamoru breathed a sigh of relief to finally be going to bed. It had been a strange and stressful day, his head was throbbing and every muscle was aching. All he wanted was to stretch out on the couch and fall into a deep dreamless sleep.

The apartment was quiet now, the tranquility of late night starting to spread throughout the living room. Every light was turned off, bathing the living room in peaceful shadows. Only the soft noises of his home in repose greeted him. The dull, methodical drip of the kitchen faucet, the whisper of traffic far down upon the street. As he settled himself on the leather couch. Listening to the lazy drip of his kitchen sink, the light tik tok of the round wall clock mounted above his computer.

Mamoru could feel every part of himself start to relax as he lay there in the silence. Staring up at the flickering shadow's on his roof, nestled under the blue wool blanket. His arms tucked behind his head, under the pillow, mulling over the day's events and the growing mystery that was Yume.

She finally spoke...having discarded the theory that she was just a fantasy of his. Coming to a new and more strange understanding that perhaps she was real, but existed just beyond other peoples perceptions. That some how he was special in some way, that he could see and interact with her. He had moved his thoughts towards more rational avenues. Perhaps she wasn't from this world and she didn't know the language, or perhaps she had amnesia? Both could be true? The thought of something horrible having happened to her before falling into his life made his blood run cold.

But to hear her beautiful sweet voice had been exhilarating. As soft as a whisper and warm as a summer's breeze. Their was a musical quality to her tone, as if she was a trained singer. Able to modulate her vocal's in a very appealing manner...or he was just adding some extra flare to the moment because of his infatuation with her. Mamoru chuckled softly to himself, needing to reign in his over active imagination. He had hoped now they could really start to communicate. His thoughts were growing dull, body slowly relaxed under the growing warmth of his blanket as sleep sought to claim him.

_The dream started out as it always did, with the ghostly grey sky stretching out above him. Dull and lifeless, a blank empty void that held an infinite depth. It's barren vastness filled him with ice, freezing his blood and making him light headed. As if trapped upon a tiny boat amid an endless stormy sea, the sky swayed and blurred in his vision making him feel sick. He couldn't help the terror that gripped him, the featureless sky slowly consuming him. He couldn't turn his face away though, his neck felt rigid as if trapped in a vice. His only recourse was to squeeze his eyes shut in an attempt to shield himself from the overwhelming vertigo. Trapping safely in the darkness behind his eyes, able to focus upon other things now, he felt the heat of the dry, cracked earth beneath him. The ash and sand that swirled over the bare skin of his arms. Making them feel irritated and itchy. _

_He was laying prone on his back in the middle of a blackened wasteland, dressed as he was back in reality. In plaid comfy pants and a white t-shirt. His arms stretched out, legs splayed in a star like pattern. Awaiting his end that refused to come. _

_He vaguely understood he was the last human alive. All of the worlds civilization had crumbled and turned to nothing in the moment of the cataclysm. Some how he had survived the culling, left like an abandoned sacrifice upon the scorched earth. To stare in numbed pain up at the burnt sky unable to die. _

_His mind spinning through the worlds last moments as the ungodly fury of demon fire consumed everything around him. The defeated faces of his two friends as they had stood beside him in the end, burning like a brand in his memory. _

_Motoki had been so calm, his work cloths marred and torn from many battles. Holding a sobbing Una to his chest. As she wailed brokenly into his button down shirt,dressed in her school fuku . The white portions of her uniform shirt and navy skirt currently covered in soot and grime from evading the demon's for days. Clutching at his back unwilling to accept her coming death. _

_They stood amid the broken street, littered with chard, gutted vehicles and burning cars. The remains of downtown Azabu a crumbling ruin of broken towers and nameless rubble. The air was thick like soup, heavy and brutal against their skin. Each of them was sweating mercilessly, the wind hot and sweltering heat refusing to cool them. The air was humid and dry all at the same time. An odd sort of sauna like experience that took their breath and had made running difficult. _

"_Gomen..." He muttered, refusing to look at either of them. The guilt at not being able to prevent this slowly crushing him. Standing firmly in front of both, in a pair was weather jeans and torn black t-shirt. Glaring up at the flickering sky that was glowing a blood red. His chest felt strained, a tightness gripping his heart and preventing him from breathing right. He knew the horrible something that they had been running from had finally gotten them cornered, there was no where to hide. _

_He curled his hands into tight fists at his sides, finally finding his courage to late to face this ungodly foe. Cursing himself, he refused to look away from the flaming sky wanting to stare death in the face._

_Motoki never accepted his pathetic apology, merely grunting in grim assessment of the end. As he held his sister in his last moments. His once warm hazel eyes were distant, staring at the burning skyline with silent resentment. _

_Then a silver light flashed overhead, rocketing towards the street like a falling star. He suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of calm as the starlight descended towards the street far ahead of him. Crashing like a meteor into the cement, sending chunks of concrete and ash into the air, sending it back in a rushing tide towards him. He covered his face with shielding arms as the cloud of fine debris overtook him and his friends. _

_When the dust cleared a most amazing sight greeted him. Through the intense haze of heat and ash, he could just make out the outline of an other worldly beautiful woman. For the first time his recurring nightmare had a sense of hope. She stood regally in very angelic armour of pure white. Her somewhat rigid pleated skirt fluttered in the gust of hot wind. Silver metal plates accented the pleats, clanging like heavenly bells upon her thighs. Upon her perfect chest was a very simple halter top, of crisp lines and elegant curves that hugged her breasts and conformed to her flanks like a second skin. Fine silver chain mail was draped like a skirting on the underside of the halter. Parting like a curtain over her abdomen to hang just below her waistline. A simple weapon's belt of silver was locked over her hips, ornate with carved runes and shimmering crystals, like the beads of sand. _

_Her flat, toned stomach was bare. Pearl white and utterly flawless skin glowing in the flickering light of the burning sky. Her arms were just as bare, except for long white gauntlets that shielded her wrists all the way up to her elbows. Above the elbows, were a series of thin white scars that looked like runes. That drew upward over her beneath her silver metal shoulder guards that were just overlapping plates that slowly narrowed into points, like deadly crescents that mirrored the calm serenity of the moon itself. The runes reappeared up her long elegant neck, fading into the nape of her neck. _

_She gripped a huge ornate sword in her right hand, that was carved in the purest crystal. The hand guard resembling twin crescents abutting against one another. A glowing silver disc in her left, that also seemed to give off the Moon's eternal aura. _

_Her long golden tails snapping in the rising inferno now closing in on them. As she glared threateningly at the flames now licking the dead sky. A modulated chanting of four voices began to float upon the wind. The voices were soft, feminine like a ghostly whisper that echoed with an unearthly power. The voices had a rhythm like music, that seemed to ebb and flow within the fabric of this reality. _

_It reminded him of the prayer's recited during a his parents funeral. But he could not understand the words. As the chanting continued he felt his chest tighten, a feeling of dread falling heavily upon his heart. The heated wind beginning to howl around them. Swirling around Yume like a churning vortex of building power. She stood strong amid the tornado, the muscles in her shoulder blades coiling and releasing. Then two massive dove white wings exploded from her back, a cloud of fine down feather's floating away towards him. He gasped at the sight of his girl becoming her true self, an Angel! _

_He was blinded for a moment, the scent of summer flower's thick around him as the feather's surrounded him. Then the air began to grow even hotter. All the oxygen burned away as the air itself began to ignite. _

_It was becoming unbearable, forcing Motoki to his knees. Taking Unasuki down with him with a startled yelp. Now it was her turn to hold him steady, as he began to succumb to the heat. Panting and heaving for breath that refused to come. _

"_Toki...Onii-chan..." she cried, cradling him to her breast in anguish. _

_Mamoru grit his teeth, holding his trembling legs firm, squinting his eyes to keep his beloved in sight as the smoke and haze intensified. He could feel the wind now burning his skin, singing off his eyelashes and seeking to consume his clothes. He stubbornly kept his stinging eyes fixed upon her as she stretched her wings outwards majesticly. He could feel his skin cracking under the strain of the burning heat, then Motoki and Una's screams shattered the air behind him. Their bodies engulfed in flames as if victims of internal combustion. Their brutal death cries snuffed out in an instant. _

_Mamoru mourned them with a choking, strangled sob that he cut short, his throat so dry he could barely give voice to his misery in that moment. He felt like such a failure, unable to prevent this tragic outcome._

_He wanted those very same flames to consume his own body, to take his life and finally allow him to be numb. He stared unblinkingly at his angel preparing to take flight, blood trickling from his dark hair line to drip off his chin upon the cracked pavement. _

_She turned to him then, her sweet face set in a firm resolution. Blue eyes shimmering with both love and regret. A large, elaborate rune now forming upon her breast, just below her collar bone. It was both delicate and deadly in it's crisp twisting lines. _

"_Don't do it..." He whispered brokenly, unable to give any strength to shout it out. Choking on his cowardice that had lead them to this desperate outcome. Understanding the true meaning behind the forming rune. His heart stopped beating in that moment, knowing her great sacrifice was at hand. _

_She gave him her last glorious smile, her eyes lighting up with an undying love just for him. _

_Then with one great beat of her wings she was airborne and charging forth towards the living hell consuming Tokyo in the distance. With her sword outstretched to part the flames, her other hand poised to cast her chakram into the ungodly inferno and call down all the power her life possessed, to snuff out hell itself. _

_He cast his face upward, watching her fade into the inferno. Feeling the dampness of blood running down his face. Their was a sudden flash of white light, so unbelievably powerful he felt his very eyes were being burned out of his skull. His body began to shiver as shock took hold, he could hear himself screaming her real name. A desperate pleading cry that echoed with the agony of the damned. His misery was unbearable. It was like an out of body experience, he seemed to be everywhere at once. _

_Then like water swirling a drain that mystical feeling of being one with the universe fell away. His spirit was sucked back into his worthless bag of flesh. When the blinding light cleared and the haze dissipated. He was laying prone upon the barren grey sand of a wasteland, in his p j's. All alone and drowning in self loathing. _

_He was worthless, a pathetic coward who couldn't save any of his dear friends or even his beloved. Left alone to ponder his mistakes for all time. It was an endless hell of pure agony of his own creation. _

Mamoru gasped, his eyes flying open, instantly alert as the prophetic dream concluded. All the horrific images of the future falling away upon wakefulness. Only the very unpleasant sick feeling deep in his soul remaining, a nauseous suffering that made him short of breath. Making him retch and cough as reality swam in his foggy sight for a moment. As if he was coming back to consciousness after drinking himself into unconsciousness the night before. His hung over feeling clearing sluggishly with a startling fright, as he found Yume's face inches away from his. Staring at him with deep concern.

He screamed unable to control the impulse of the sudden terror of having someone else's face so close to his upon waking. His arms failing in defence before his face, as she screamed back in response shooting upward towards the roof. Her voice becoming an ear rupturing shriek, that had him squeezing his eyes shut in sharp pain.

With his heart thundering in his throat, panting for breath he stared up at his roof in bewilderment. With his ears ringing faintly. Finding her hovering above him in that same flying pose as before, clutching her breast and attempting to calm herself. Her golden hair was somewhat messy, pulled free slightly from her buns during her sleep. Stray strands falling over her face and floating somewhat staticy around her head.

"Yume...what the hell!" he yelled up in frustration, she had scared the shit out of him.

She looked near tears and so guilty he felt terrible.

"Oh...come here." He called her down with a wave of his hand. Her response was instantaneous floating downward into his welcoming embrace. He held her tight, as she curled into his chest. Tucking her head under his chin and sighing with relief. Her small body pressed up against his, instantly soothing him, banishing all the fear and disgusting feelings his nightmare had left behind.

She must have heard him tossing and calling out in the thoes of his nightmare. Not understanding that she had an emotional link to him. Feeling all the misery and guilt his dream had been torturing him with. Unconsciously calling her to his side to seek to aid him, to draw him back to her and sooth his inner turmoil.

She released a long drawn out sigh of relief as he held her, wrapping her arms around his back and holding him just as tight. Being in his arms like this felt so right, so perfect she never wished to leave his embrace. But as all things are, the comforting hug came to an end as he caught sight of the sun blazing through the tower's across the street. Morning had come and he had lots to do today.

He pulled her off his lap and set her back on the cushion's of the couch. She sat on her knees expectantly as he wrapped her up snug in his wool blanket, brushing his fingertips sweetly down her cheek before rising up.

"I got lots of shopping to do today. " He stated, heading for his bedroom to track down some clean clothes. When he reappeared in a pair of heavy western style jeans and a navy cotton turtleneck, he continued his assessment of the day. "I want you to stay in the apartment today. That way I know your safe and I won't have to worry about losing you in the crowds out there." he wandered down the back hall towards the bathroom. His voice fading and echoing away into nothing before he closed the bathroom door with a click.

When he returned after brushing his hair and teeth, he found her still huddled in his blanket discreetly sniffing the fluffy cloth as he past into the kitchen.

Searching through the empty cupboards and fridge was a useless endeavour he quickly abandoned.

"Ok. I gotta go round us up some breakfast." he huffed, striding into the entryway and slipping on his sneakers and pulling down his black jean jacket from it's hook along the wall.

Finding her now standing anxiously before him in just his white t-shirt, hands curled together before her waist demurely. Staring up at him with nervous anticipation of another long outing in the city.

"No...you stay!" he raised a hand, palm towards her in a stoping motion. Stepping methodically backwards towards the door. Grimacing as she cocked her head in confusion, her face falling, pure blue eyes near tears. As he resolutely closed the front door on her. Watching approvingly as the door's electronic lock beeped, the light on the keycard reader turning red.

Taking a deep cleansing breath once out in the hall, he jogged towards the fire exit and bounded down the steps. Heading out the front door happy to know she was safe and sound inside his apartment. He wouldn't have to worry about her today as he did all his shopping. Striding out onto the sidewalk he glanced around the street debating where to head too first. He needed food, a haircut and some clothes, he also had to buy an offering for his parents. With another deep sigh he raised his eyes up to the sky, scanning the warming light painting the skyline. Turning in a small circle to enjoy the somewhat more balmy day ahead. Spring was getting closer everyday and he was looking forward to it. Chuckling at the thought, he hadn't felt a positive emotion like eagerness in a long, long time. This new turn in his life was going to be interesting, exciting even and a little nerve wracking no doubt.

As his eyes fell upon the black iron balconies of his apartment tower, his breath caught in his throat choking him. Their she was perched on his railing high above, his t-shirt snapping in the wind eight stories above him. His balcony it seemed did not automaticly lock like his front door when he left. Just another financial short cut his landlord had made he thought bitterly.

With stood completely poleaxed, staring up at her in awe unsure as to what to do. Her golden tails fluttering around her like twin whips, staring down at him with stubborn determination. She looked like one of those dramatic suicides he had watched in the movies. She was going to jump...he knew it!

She slowly stood up and with a leap she swan dived off the balcony, doing an elegant forward flip so her feet were beneath her.

"Yume!" He reached out for her, dashing back up the sidewalk so he could catch her. In a vain attempt to save her life. He couldn't breath, couldn't think straight at all. His heart was lurching in his chest as he tried to cover the distance to reach her in time. Envisioning her beautiful body broken, bloody and lifeless upon the cement. The vision clenched at his chest like a vice, holding his heart still and taking away his breath.

She fell like a stone towards the earth, her arms over her head. The over sized shirt billowing around her hips, nearly unveiling her naked womanhood beneath. As crazy as the deadly plummet before him was, he couldn't help the lewd image having an effect on him. His eyes going as wide as pie plates at nearly seeing her privates once again. Then he was beneath her, arms outstretched to catch her. When the air itself seemed to thicken, becoming a force onto itself. Her out of control descent slowed as if caught by the air itself. She floated harmlessly down into his arms with a very bright and satisfied grin on her face.

He held her tight again, brushing down her further loosened hair at the back. As she melted against him with another sigh of contentment.

Pulling away a moment later to give him a very disgruntled scowl. She pressed her palm against his heart.

"Stay!" She stated bluntly.

"What am I going to do with you?" He moaned, unable to stop the beaming smile of pure happiness that crossed his face.

Now he had a delima on his hands, how was he going to keep track of her. She had this frightening tendency to just wander off.


End file.
